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Post by choosybeggar on Sept 12, 2010 5:01:03 GMT -5
forth in greeting.
"Diker!" The
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Yes, I took the liberty of naming him Diker. Unless you absolutely hate the name, it's the one. And okay, I do not, and will not, unless you tell me, know what Deux Ex Machina means, nor a "Tom Swiftie," though I believe I can figure the latter out. I meant for the sentence to be finished by describing the entrance of Brianna. Would that still be a Said Bookism? I guess it might, but I think it would have sounded better. The two things are happening at the same time, though, so I thought telling them together was a good idea.
Please, enlighten me. Preferably at a time not in the next ten hours. I'm going to be zonked. It's 3:00 in the morning, just so you know. But you can write it, and I can read it later. X) That works.
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Post by newburydave on Sept 15, 2010 10:39:09 GMT -5
forth in greeting. . . . And okay, I do not, and will not, unless you tell me, know what Deux Ex Machina means, ... Literally "God from the Machine" (gr) from the common denoument of Greek Tragedies where a crane would drop an actor, dressed like a god, down onto the middle of the stage. Said "god" would then proceed to sort everything out by supernatural power. Meaning in Literature: The overuse of "super-human" means to resolve the story conflicts. The ending of Deckkers "the blessed child" or superman flying in at the last minute, are forms of DexM. they are considered a cop-out because the author couldn't think of a way for the hero to survive without excessive outside help. (for Xtian authors this can present a problem.) ...nor a "Tom Swiftie," though I believe I can figure the latter out. ... "Gee, lets go quickly," Said Tom running swiftly from the flying bridge. (a classic Tom Swifty from the boys novel series) It is mixing Attribution with speaker Action in what would normally be the attribution statement. It is considered amateurish (see the Turkey City Lexicon of writers gaffe's and tropes.) <<!!Paff!!>> you're enlightened. Now if you want me to call you a cab. . . ;D SGD dave
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Post by choosybeggar on Sept 15, 2010 11:51:51 GMT -5
Thank you! I'm enlightened, and no, you don't want call the cab. They cost a lot to bring out here in the desert. I think the Tom Swiftie would have worked out if I could have had two more words to clarify. What I meant, was, '"Brianna!" shouted the Wyrm, as something else happened.' Or, '"Brianna!" shouted the Wyrm, as the Deux ex Machina lowered his sister from the clouds.
Something like that.
Yeah, I know it was a Deux ex Machina of sorts, to bring her back from being kidnapped. I was following in the footsteps of most of the story before this. Have you noticed how things kept changing really quick, and just as Brian was about to get killed, or disgronified, or something, he tripped into a wormhole/toilet? I'd say that's a worse one. I think this one is relatively mild, and will not make things much simpler. We've still got to figure out everyone's identity. Brianna may know Hescotleach, and does know Diker, aka the Wyrm, but does not know either Brian, nor the Nerf-herder guy. Diker knows his sister, obviously, but not really Hescotleach, nor Nerf-herder, nor Brian. Hescotleach knows Brianna, a little, and evidently knows the Nerf-herder, but not Diker, nor Brian very well. Nerf-herder knows (?). Either he knows Brianna, or Hescotleach, but not both.
I'd say the folly I created is not a match for the nitty-gritty details of this sticky situation. But we shall see.
What's the thing at the top of your reply? Are you just saying you're quoting me? Otherwise, I'm unsure of your meaning.
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Post by newburydave on Sept 15, 2010 12:05:13 GMT -5
former Wyrm, bowed. His crest ============= What if Brianna and Diker are an alien species? That thing at the top of my last post was supposed to be the html tags to put your text into quote boxes. ( I hate htlm, I hate html, I hate html) I guess it deleted a comma or something and it just went splat. Did I tell you that I hate htlm, and I'm an html programmer in my alternative universe working life of several years ago (where's a GRRRR! emoticon when you need one.) I hereby call html a Taxi <<!!Pafff!!>> there it's a. . . figures, must have been a missing semicolon, everything behind the drivers seat looks like the behind of a horse. (did I tell you I hate html?) =============== 2 min later: OIASE I just reread what went before. I misspelled . I believe it should be "Deus ex Machina" and it's Latin not Greek (oh the shame the shame, pardon me while I crawl under the carpet) Okay that's better, the link to the phrase in Wikipedia is en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deus_ex_machina in case you're interested. Now if you put a sentance like the improved Tom Swifty up for critique, CB, I believe that I would suggest you separate the thoughts. I had dealings with an editor at Baen Books once who said that he rejected manuscripts for combining attribution and action in the same paragraph. Granted many people thought he was extreme, but he was a publisher's editor. IMHO that's a point worth regarding. That being said, this format makes proper style difficult. I thought your introduction of the Real Brianna was a master stroke of plot convolution. Um, I think that's a good thing. It moved the story along anyway, so have at it bro. SGD dave (who hates html)
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Post by choosybeggar on Sept 15, 2010 13:42:38 GMT -5
flared as he transformed into
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<<!!Paff!!>> And I'm still a little confused. Attribution? Is that "he said"? Not quite sure...not up on my lingo.... Hmm. Anyway, I actually had read DexM before, on this forum and in other parts, and it was spelled with the 'x.' Oh, well. But I had forgotten anything I'd learned about its meaning.
Html. Are you saying that in real life you used to be an html programmer? Or just in your imagination? Either way, cool. I lo-I mean hate html! Not really. My dad is a programmer, as part of his job, so I'm a little into that kind of stuff. Once, I actually made a "webpage." It had two boxes, each a different color, with TEXT! Awesome, or what? hahaha! Yeah. And the getting your own picture on this forum is a feat of computer hacking as well. I took me about half an hour to do it! Please don't tell me you did it in five minutes....
Anyhow, please explain the attribution thing. Sorry that I've already asked you to explain it, like, twice before. But I'm still in the dark, because of my lack of literary linguists' lingo.
Thank you,
The beggar who decided to be a chooser.
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Post by Grace Bridges on Sept 16, 2010 0:35:30 GMT -5
his truer self once again. ____________________________ Attribution? Is that "he said"? Yup. The thing that attributes a speech to a person. Mostly with "he/she/name said" and the like. I don't know much html, but clicking on the Quote button seems to have worked. Preview is also quite nifty.
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Post by newburydave on Sept 18, 2010 7:37:53 GMT -5
"Get me down from here!" ============= Poor Brianna, in hiding for who knows how long while Hescotleach masqueraded as her to divert attention; and now stuck on the god crane, half lowered into the scene while the others go through all sorts of social niceties introducing each other around. . . It's enough to make a girl want to spit, or kick . . . Well, I'd be upset too. Here she was supposed to drop in from the N+1th dimension and resolve all the ambiguities and she can't even get a whole line of dialog in edgewise. Such an uncivil dimension we're stuck in! ============ The picture in the margin. . . don't get me started. As I remember it took me several months to figure out. You see html is not a skill I choose to remember, I had to ask help from some of the more experienced members, and proboards has their own unique twists. "Computers are like cats. They don't want to cooperate, they're finicky and I think sometimes they were created as an object lesion (yes I mean to spell it that way) to illustrate the Carnal Mind. Willful!" html Brrrrrr!
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Post by choosybeggar on Sept 18, 2010 16:40:18 GMT -5
"What's that crane doing here?"
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Hahahahahaha! I was laughing all the way through your side comments! And yes, I believe having an actual crane appear is a great poke of fun at the gods of humor and drama. How did she get up there in the first place? We shall see. This shall be very funneth indeed....
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Post by katharine on Sept 18, 2010 17:09:15 GMT -5
The crane flapped awkwardly towards
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Post by newburydave on Sept 18, 2010 18:22:08 GMT -5
"Help!" yelled Brianna. "This thing ============= Um, welcome to the story thread Kathrine.
My first thought was that you may have gotten the wrong impression about the type of crane we're talking about. The "crane" I intended to introduce was the rope and pulley kind that theaters used, to "fly" characters into the middle of the stage when they were playing the part of 'gods' in the old Greek tragedies. See the link in my previous post about "Deus ex Machina".
However if you really intended for the "rope and pulley" crane to flap away then I'll answer in kind. We've already gone down several rabbit holes in this story so why not another leap into strange and mystifying transformations.
I leave the final determination to the father of this story, Dizzyjam.
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Post by Grace Bridges on Oct 15, 2010 1:54:24 GMT -5
is so surreal I'm dizzy!"
(about time we got going again; sorry I've been away - the new computer doesn't know to come here regularly!
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Post by newburydave on Oct 15, 2010 21:46:36 GMT -5
Now I'm in a Jam." ============= And it's a classic return of a high floating serve. <<THWOCK>> Yes! A hard smash into the forecourt of . . . Nice serve Grace. I haven't seen DJ around for a while. Maybe he got a new computer too. ;D
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