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Post by Grace Bridges on Mar 10, 2010 17:51:08 GMT -5
the softly glowing vial of
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Post by dizzyjam on Mar 10, 2010 18:27:23 GMT -5
the ancient formula for life.
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Post by Grace Bridges on Mar 10, 2010 18:38:39 GMT -5
It shattered, setting free the
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Post by dizzyjam on Mar 10, 2010 18:41:00 GMT -5
spirit of green warmth that
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Post by Grace Bridges on Mar 10, 2010 18:55:58 GMT -5
robbed his consciousness in gentle
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Post by dizzyjam on Mar 10, 2010 18:59:31 GMT -5
strokes that felt like fingers
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Post by Grace Bridges on Mar 10, 2010 19:02:54 GMT -5
- he'd fallen to the floor,
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Post by dizzyjam on Mar 10, 2010 19:03:30 GMT -5
and the warmth surrounded him
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Post by Grace Bridges on Mar 10, 2010 20:15:44 GMT -5
as consciousness faded. But now
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Post by dizzyjam on Mar 11, 2010 2:47:50 GMT -5
Blue and Red play games
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Post by Grace Bridges on Mar 11, 2010 3:15:02 GMT -5
and Murray had to discover
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Post by tris on Mar 11, 2010 14:51:15 GMT -5
which was real, lest he
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Post by tris on Mar 11, 2010 14:52:14 GMT -5
lose forever his one chance
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Post by Grace Bridges on Mar 11, 2010 15:10:53 GMT -5
to save the world from
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Post by dizzyjam on Mar 11, 2010 16:30:36 GMT -5
Okay, got to step in here a bit. Not sure if tris realized what she did, but you aren't supposed to post twice in a row. (See guideline 6 below) Otherwise, you lose the magic of this thread. If you could do more than five words in a post, then doing more than five would be okay, but you can't separate them out over two posts like that.
Sorry, Grace, but I have to truncate yours since it followed the one tris did when she doubled up.
I'm going to take a moment here to collect everything together and let us see where we're at so far with the story.
First a review of the guidelines:
1 - You can put 3, 4, or 5 words down per post. 2 - You should pay attention to the punctuation put down by the person who posted right before you post. 3 - You can end sentences with whatever punctuation you feel is appropriate, and if a sentence has been ended you can start a new one with proper capitalization. 4 - You should be sure to read what has come before so you can add to the story in a way that sort of makes sense, but even with that as a guide, what you put down is up to you. Also, if you have posted before, you should either read what's taken place since your last post, or if you haven't posted in a long time, just read the last full page leading up to the post you are following. 5 - You should not post anything that directly contradicts what had just been posted, although story twists are always welcome, yet shouldn't be too overdone - i.e. don't make every post you put down a story twist. 6 - You should not post twice in a row. No taking two or more turns at a time. If this happens, everyone let the story stop until hopefully an Admin will help out by deleting extra posts. 7 - You should delete your post if you are following one person's post and someone else was able to post before you so that the story doesn't get confused. (Refer back to 4 on this one)
Here's what's been written to date (with editing to show paragraphs as I interpret them, and with minor punctuation or capitalization corrections):
Darkness reigned the night as he quickly walked into the bad place. He shook with bone rattling terror knowing that here was the epicenter of evil.
There would be no turning back now.
Bracing himself, he said, "Reveal yourself by authority of the light that never ends."
He turned his flashlight on, but then remembered the warning from the child, "Beware the whisper of the basilisk when light touches the Stone of Jordon in the last beam of the wooden idol's perch." Fearing the flashlight's beam he stowed it, and retrieved a less intrusive penlight.
Gingerly, he turned on.
He sensed the hot breath before he saw the swirl of vaporous mist. He looked into the eyes of the crouching saurian, glutted from feasting on bloodied flesh and maggots.
"What is the Emperor's reply?"
Brian quaked with fear as he readied himself for this demon's reaction to the doomsayer's curse.
"Your Repugnance, His Majesty's soothsayer..." A beam of dark cut through the weak pen-lit room heralding the loving presence of the great solar Archon. Brian's skin went cold as the demon screamed.
"This is beyond you, mortal."
At that moment, the righteous presence of God poured out in glorious rays from only one of the high windows above.
With clinched fist, Brian shouted, "Give up your dead, demon!" The basilisk shrieked, and Brian emboldened by the presence lunged forward no longer in control of his feelings. To his right a door - which he shoulder-charged - crunched open to reveal a room of dark shadows in which the sword glinted.
He entered and the demon shrieked blasphemous profanities as it guessed its doom. Brian wheeled glared with hate-drenched eyes into the abyss of memory that had become confused.
His vison blurred, so he cleaned his glasses but to no avail because light leaching memories blurred the reality before him. Time sheared, hurtling him through a vortex of swirling fragmentary images of possible outcomes.
He reached and touched one.
He was safe, home. He looked around his bedroom, but there were subtle differences.
An altered timestream! He'd heard of such things, but recoiled from the reality because his dog was blue.
"Blue!" he called. The dog sat. Red was his name, not that it mattered, because the real dog named Blue was not deaf like Red and responded to his color-blind master, who was still dizzy from his trip home.
Where had he been? How would he ever know? He remembered everything with brilliant clarity up until the coconut had hit him on the foot and he dropped the softly glowing vial of the ancient formula for life. It shattered, setting free the spirit of green warmth that robbed his consciousness in gentle strokes that felt like fingers - he'd fallen to the floor, and the warmth surrounded him as consciousness faded.
But now Blue and Red play games and Murray had to discover which was real, lest he
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and that's where we're at folks!
A few observations and mild suggestions as we move forward:
It appears our hero Brian is a man of two worlds, but we don't know yet how these worlds connect or why he is the one that goes back and forth. Is this his first time? Where did he get the vial of life from? Was he at home when that happened, or was it in a lab of some kind, or what? If it's not his first time, what has caused his "trips" before? Also, in one world he was Brian, in the "normal" "altered" world he's Murray. Does this mean he has a different name in each reality, or is his name "Brian Murray" and in "our" reality he goes by his last name. Other questions revolve around what his quest will be, any people that are introduced to the story, etc., but this is a good start. It actually has an interesting flow to it and at times has a bit of humor, plus very inventive collective imaginations.
Okay, so now that all of that has been said, here's where the last statement was and the next person can pick up from here (don't forget the guidelines) -
which was real, lest he
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