Post by ryain on Mar 22, 2010 10:00:34 GMT -5
I wrote this a while just so I could remeber the idea. I've been toying with putting somthing up here and I just picked this one. I really need some critique so go nuts. 
(p.s. I've never written in first person before.)
I apologize for the format but it got screwed up when I pasted.
Prologue
Footsteps echo through the empty hallways ominously like a funeral bell. My cot is hard beneath me but at least it is a feeling that I know. In a few moments who knows what I will feel. Strangely I want to breathe the putrid air one last time, wish my mother goodbye as polluted as she is. To kiss my darling again. I never thought it would happen this way and even though I’ve know that this was coming now that it’s time I can’t help but want to run. The coarse blanks chafe at my palms as I run my hands over them. The cold stone walls that had seemed so stark now surround me with a familiarity that I want to cling to.
The footsteps grow closer thuds sounding out from behind the wooden door.
I only wish I could have seen her face one last time. To caress her soft cheeks and stare into her lovely eyes again. To kiss her sweet lips for the last time. If only I could see her again before I go. My gaze wanders over to the small window up near the ceiling. Tiny stars twinkle sadly against an ink black canvas as a cold wind blows through the bars. I lift my eyes and breathe deep.
The footsteps stop outside my door and keys rattle. Pushing myself to my feet I turn and face the window for one last glance of the stars. The door squeaks loudly in the quiet room. I turn to face the invaders of my sanctuary.
“It is time.” A dark cloaked figure intoned. “Come.”
Numbly I nod and follow him to the door. The voice rings deep in my core shattering my already failing resolve. I can’t believe that it has come to this. The stone floor of the hallway is cold on my bare feet, the stones rough and chipped. Unlike the flagstones of my chamber where the groves and creases have been worn smooth by my pacing. The torch flickers in the slight breeze as we round a corner. Shadows loom ahead chased by the light of the torch. The wind whistles through the hallways, distantly I can hear sound of tree branches swaying. She loved the sound of the wind in the trees. Though she had never heard the sound of rustling leaves just the eerie clacking of bone dry branches. I wish I could have shown her this place, I wish we could have done this together. An image of her long hair flowing around her blue eyes haunts my mind.
Ahead stairs loom out of the black. I shudder slightly. The urge to run is stronger now but I know it is no use. More black robed figures drift down the stairs their faceless masks macabre in the flickering light. A light flares at the top of the stairs briefly glowing before fading down to shadow. This is where I must go. I only wish I could see her face again. The figure at my side pulls the cloak from my shoulders exposing my bare chest to the wind. Squaring my shoulders I take the first step up the stairs. The torches flicker oddly as chanting fills the room. My feet feel numb on the steps, my hands motionless by my sides. If only she was here with me.
The light of the torches fade to shadow as I reach the top of the stairs. I want to scream and run but I can’t. Some force holds me, forcing me to step forward into the inky black.
Chapter 1
The wind rustled through the boughs of the giant iapkes stirring the iridescent leaves into a shimmering canopy. It whistled down the smooth bark, across the gnarled roots and tangling in the grass. The grass protested with whispery hisses rubbing against the legs of the man who stood there. He stood with his arms crossed over his burly chest, the feathered tips of his dark hair brushing his shoulders. His yellowed eyes peered across the horizon taking the setting of the wan sun. It wasn’t a pretty sight. The bleak horizon stretched across the ravaged land pierced by mounds of rubble. To the right the stain of BlainVallcer smudged the grey sky with a oily green blemish. Far in the distance the mountains of Rul`or lay, their dull peaks rising from the polluted air. To the left the shadows of Dragullo forest seeped it’s evil into the sky. In the center the small town of Amlar huddled shrouded by the rising mist. He didn’t have to see it to know what it looked like. He had lived there for long enough. He knew how the barren trees wrapped their bony branches over the houses in an attempt to hold back the wind. How the roads wandered through the town, weeds poking through the cobblestones. How the cold of the moor seeped through every blanket and chilled the warmth of the hardiest fire. He knew everything that happened there. How additives and suppressants were used to fill the emptiness of life. The entire world was filled with this emptiness. It had been this emptiness that had driven him here. He blinked turning his eyes to the glittering leaves of the iapkes. Many times his mind would wander back to the life he lived before and he would have to push those memories back. The iapke leaves helped, their shimmering fan edges reminding him that there was hope.
“Sir? We’re ready to begin. The master requires your presence.”
He turned to face the doors and the man standing between them. “I know Shadek. I just needed to gather my thoughts.”
Shadek nodded, his blond hair ruffling in the wind. “Yes Sir.”
He sighed. “Let’s finish this.” He strode through the gates, his cloak billowing behind him.
The dusty road of the traveler terminal looked as bleak as Vance Kreathers felt. It stretched from where he stood at the ramp of the Taxterbus out through the country like the skin of a dead snake, winding through the rubble. The rubble was so prominent here. Unlike HailFyelalin, the largest metropolis in the civilized world, the effects of the Devastation are glaringly evident. The sun didn’t even shine here. At least in HailFyelalin the skyscrapers had pushed through the suffocating cloud layer. The only skyscrapers he had seen were but ruined spires, their jagged tops not even touching the clouds. He sighed and hefted his travel bag. Right now he regretted ever leaving HailFyelalin. Just like she said he would. He wondered what she was doing right now.
(p.s. I've never written in first person before.)
I apologize for the format but it got screwed up when I pasted.
Prologue
Footsteps echo through the empty hallways ominously like a funeral bell. My cot is hard beneath me but at least it is a feeling that I know. In a few moments who knows what I will feel. Strangely I want to breathe the putrid air one last time, wish my mother goodbye as polluted as she is. To kiss my darling again. I never thought it would happen this way and even though I’ve know that this was coming now that it’s time I can’t help but want to run. The coarse blanks chafe at my palms as I run my hands over them. The cold stone walls that had seemed so stark now surround me with a familiarity that I want to cling to.
The footsteps grow closer thuds sounding out from behind the wooden door.
I only wish I could have seen her face one last time. To caress her soft cheeks and stare into her lovely eyes again. To kiss her sweet lips for the last time. If only I could see her again before I go. My gaze wanders over to the small window up near the ceiling. Tiny stars twinkle sadly against an ink black canvas as a cold wind blows through the bars. I lift my eyes and breathe deep.
The footsteps stop outside my door and keys rattle. Pushing myself to my feet I turn and face the window for one last glance of the stars. The door squeaks loudly in the quiet room. I turn to face the invaders of my sanctuary.
“It is time.” A dark cloaked figure intoned. “Come.”
Numbly I nod and follow him to the door. The voice rings deep in my core shattering my already failing resolve. I can’t believe that it has come to this. The stone floor of the hallway is cold on my bare feet, the stones rough and chipped. Unlike the flagstones of my chamber where the groves and creases have been worn smooth by my pacing. The torch flickers in the slight breeze as we round a corner. Shadows loom ahead chased by the light of the torch. The wind whistles through the hallways, distantly I can hear sound of tree branches swaying. She loved the sound of the wind in the trees. Though she had never heard the sound of rustling leaves just the eerie clacking of bone dry branches. I wish I could have shown her this place, I wish we could have done this together. An image of her long hair flowing around her blue eyes haunts my mind.
Ahead stairs loom out of the black. I shudder slightly. The urge to run is stronger now but I know it is no use. More black robed figures drift down the stairs their faceless masks macabre in the flickering light. A light flares at the top of the stairs briefly glowing before fading down to shadow. This is where I must go. I only wish I could see her face again. The figure at my side pulls the cloak from my shoulders exposing my bare chest to the wind. Squaring my shoulders I take the first step up the stairs. The torches flicker oddly as chanting fills the room. My feet feel numb on the steps, my hands motionless by my sides. If only she was here with me.
The light of the torches fade to shadow as I reach the top of the stairs. I want to scream and run but I can’t. Some force holds me, forcing me to step forward into the inky black.
Chapter 1
The wind rustled through the boughs of the giant iapkes stirring the iridescent leaves into a shimmering canopy. It whistled down the smooth bark, across the gnarled roots and tangling in the grass. The grass protested with whispery hisses rubbing against the legs of the man who stood there. He stood with his arms crossed over his burly chest, the feathered tips of his dark hair brushing his shoulders. His yellowed eyes peered across the horizon taking the setting of the wan sun. It wasn’t a pretty sight. The bleak horizon stretched across the ravaged land pierced by mounds of rubble. To the right the stain of BlainVallcer smudged the grey sky with a oily green blemish. Far in the distance the mountains of Rul`or lay, their dull peaks rising from the polluted air. To the left the shadows of Dragullo forest seeped it’s evil into the sky. In the center the small town of Amlar huddled shrouded by the rising mist. He didn’t have to see it to know what it looked like. He had lived there for long enough. He knew how the barren trees wrapped their bony branches over the houses in an attempt to hold back the wind. How the roads wandered through the town, weeds poking through the cobblestones. How the cold of the moor seeped through every blanket and chilled the warmth of the hardiest fire. He knew everything that happened there. How additives and suppressants were used to fill the emptiness of life. The entire world was filled with this emptiness. It had been this emptiness that had driven him here. He blinked turning his eyes to the glittering leaves of the iapkes. Many times his mind would wander back to the life he lived before and he would have to push those memories back. The iapke leaves helped, their shimmering fan edges reminding him that there was hope.
“Sir? We’re ready to begin. The master requires your presence.”
He turned to face the doors and the man standing between them. “I know Shadek. I just needed to gather my thoughts.”
Shadek nodded, his blond hair ruffling in the wind. “Yes Sir.”
He sighed. “Let’s finish this.” He strode through the gates, his cloak billowing behind him.
The dusty road of the traveler terminal looked as bleak as Vance Kreathers felt. It stretched from where he stood at the ramp of the Taxterbus out through the country like the skin of a dead snake, winding through the rubble. The rubble was so prominent here. Unlike HailFyelalin, the largest metropolis in the civilized world, the effects of the Devastation are glaringly evident. The sun didn’t even shine here. At least in HailFyelalin the skyscrapers had pushed through the suffocating cloud layer. The only skyscrapers he had seen were but ruined spires, their jagged tops not even touching the clouds. He sighed and hefted his travel bag. Right now he regretted ever leaving HailFyelalin. Just like she said he would. He wondered what she was doing right now.
