an idea for a story

[The Blue Collared Philosopher]

Well, i have never done this before so i am not sure if this is what i am supposed to do, but here it goes.

I once started an idea about a boy in the world that i made up, and well, i stopped and now i think it would be a good idea to bring it up again.

The boy grew up in a small town and his family was killed when he was young, he doesn't remember anything about the event of his parent death. But now he is fifteen and is a servant of an older man and his wife.

But then things get turned around when he meets an old man in the streets of a city near his town. He is then pulled into a wild adventure and finds out about why his parents were killed. He also learns about his blood line and his great powers that reside in him.

He must sacrifice a lot of himself to save his people who were captured by an enemy and sent to work for the enemy in a land of freezing land of ice. Then of course you know, he saves them and so on, but that was the basic idea of the story.

so tell me what you think of it and any ideas or comments.

And, well, ;D th-th-thats all folks!

[dulci]

I love the idea about the ice-world! That would make for some really vivid scenery, I'm guessing!

So what type of world (besides the ice--or is it all ice) would this boy live in? What kind of powers does he have? (And used to what end?)

Sounds cool to me!

[The Blue Collared Philosopher]

um, well, i had imagined the boy's town near a great lake. To the south would be a great land of ice where the enemy dwells. The world that is boy would live in would vary a lot of course.

But where he actually lived would be a place with a lot of hills and fields. There needs to be a harbor since he does live near a lake that lead to the ocean or sea, but, other than that i haven't though much about it.

His powers would be like that of a wizards, but i always thought of him as more of an elite wizard or something of the sort. His powers will be very strong, and i think it would be a cool if he had a problem controling them and his emotions, such as using his great powers for evil instead of good. I think that could be part of the lesson he learns in this story, that his powers should only be used for the benifit of everyone else, and not his own ambitions.

Now, i did have a God character, but i will have to work on that. God is a hard character to portray, especially when you try to make him understandable.

[dragonpowerful]

how does he get dragged into the adventure?

but otherwise it seems cool.

[dulci]

God is a hard character to portray, especially when you try to make him understandable.

Wow, does that say it about right! I've found for myself that it doesn't work when I try and put God in the story, but it goes right when He puts himself in the story!

Any cool animals/beasts/things of legend and lore in this world of your hero's?

[The Blue Collared Philosopher]

You are absolutely right! God is something WAY beyond our comprehension!

But back to your questions, to be honest, I have been working on this world for a year now. I basically work on it all the time, except during school, but even then my motivation to learn is so that I can write better. I decided to post this story since it was one that I have not really worked on. But for you to truly understand this world you would have to know me.

I will tell you this; I have a huge story line written, and well, the story that I posted is part of it; it is not essential the objective of my “big view story” but merely a cool idea. I have a whole world charted out and its course plotted, I have the beginning of this world, the middle, and the end of it, but I have to work on it a lot.

To answer your question Dragonpowerful, the main character is dragged into this adventure by the killing of his master. Since the boy is powerful the enemy tries to kill him, but only succeeds in killing his master. The boy’s family was killed also because of his power. (first post)

And before I said that he was a servant, but that was the wrong word, his is in fact a slave.

The boy was bought on the market when he was young, thus he was really a slave and not a servant. And in that world if a slave’s master is killed then whoever captures, steals, or claims the slave becomes his new master.

The boy happened to be claimed by an old man who was really a Guardian. (An elite wizard of sorts, I still have to work on that as well.) He became his slave, but the Guardian set him free and told the boy of his powers.

(and also, I think that the boy should have trait or something that would be recognizable for a Guardian to have so that, my “old man Guardian,” has a reason to adopt the boy. And how the enemy knew who to hunt.)

The old man trains the boy, when the boy’s people are attacked and made slaves. He is also hunted by the enemy as he learns to fight and know everything a Guardian needs to know. Then he of course decides to save his people.

That is how he is dragged into this adventure.


And now Dulci, yes, I do have plenty of legends and lore. I have ancient demons, who are actually the enemy, and plenty of other things. But if I were to make a list of my creatures I would have to write several more pages. Plus I don’t have every creature created yet. Meaning I am still making more species for this world.

So I will make a list of all the “people” on this world on another post, but it may be a while.

And Dulci, I do have a “God” character, and he is personally my favorite. I will not tell you much about him, except that I absolutely love him!

Um, if you have any ideas for creatures or anything, just write it down, I would gladly except help in the creation of this world, or even if we want to create another world off of this one. After all, I did post this story for everyone to brainstorm on if they wanted. And remember, I am just telling you what I have done, if you want to change something you can, or add something, that is great.

And forgive me if I act like I own this joint, but it is my character to lead operations, even at fourteen.

[The Blue Collared Philosopher]

Dulci, i have been thinking about the legends and etc. and think it would be cooler to just create a whole new world based off of this start. You know, new monsters, new cities, new almost everything, except for the story line. I mean i have a lot of ideas, and if i just went with my ideas, then i would feel like i was back to creating my own little world. But i think it would be cool if you guess help because then it the story would have your ideas and not just mine.

[mongoose]

So you're suggesting, if I understand right, that we join you in role playing or collaborativelly writing your story?

I've done this quite a bit over the last, oh, 10 years or so, and found one thing primarily:
I have stories in my head, but the moment other people get involved, the story changes tremendously.

what I've done to mitigate this is that I'll kick off the idea in a role playing forum, and then I'll write MY version of the story in a seperate forum in which I am the only writer, or in which I control the plot and what characters are admited to the story. In the later case, I allow other writers to role play my non primary characters, telling them the upcoming plot points, and encouraging them to play out what their characters do within that plot.

However you choose to do it, you'll either need to have two stories that remain separate from each other, or else be willing to sacrifice your ideas to those of other writers.

[The Blue Collared Philosopher]

Mongoose, thank you for the advice, i am new at this and really had no idea what i was getting myself into. But really what i had in mind was to let everyone have a what-if, and let them run with that, so i guess it would be sort of like the Collaborative Story Project.

Honestly, i had a what-if idea that i haven't used and thought it would be fun to see what other people could do with it.

But, like i said, i am new at this and decided to take a risk and jump in. So really, thanks for your info. Experience can tell you a lot, and you seem to have a lot of experience!

[Divides the Waters]

The notion of having God in fiction is a fascinating one ... particularly when talking about fantasy fiction. Of course, no matter how literal or close to the truth we try to be, a fictitious reflection of God is always just that; no less, no more. But the worst examples can cause the average reader to cringe. Not all of us have the C.S. Lewis gift of extrapolating something clear and basic about God and making it comprehensible in its own universe. I set up something of a challenge for myself when writing my own fantasy, because the God of this universe is the God of the Bible, but He is not called by the same name, because the people in the story are far removed from Earth. Moreover, because of that fact, they have their own history and a different relationship with Him. Phew! Talk about writing oneself into a corner. But it's a challenge I set up for myself, and intend to see through to the end. The best advice I can give is to make your stories realistic (within the context of the universe itself, of course). I've found that the best moments in my own story tend to be those that mimic the way God operates in our own world ... that is, through people and circumstances, with more indirect revelation than direct. To have a discussion about the nature of God or what He has done is almost always more effective than trying to show anything from His point of view--how could I imagine that, anyway?

[The Blue Collared Philosopher]

I agree with everything you said Div, and i as i have written more and grown in my walk with God, i find that the more i know about God the easier it is to express in words how God acts and why he does things or allows things to happen. So my advice would be if have a God character in your story, search for God and learn more about him to make your character.

[tranehess]

"So my advice would be if have a God character in your story, search for God and learn more about him to make your character."

That is in itself an excellent insight. We must be careful to do that daily, for our own sakes. As we do, we will have a better picture of the God we want to represent in our writings.