Too cheesy?

[rebelshade]

Okay, so I've been in a writing mood lately, but the same roadblocks still come back from time to time. This one, while not bad, is one that I just need to get over. And that's the name of my races. At the time that I was first writing the story, the names made sense and helped the reader to kind of get a picture of what the race looked like. But now (due to lack of self-confidence, probably) I'm feeling that they might be a bit too cheesy. So I want to know what you all think about the names.

These are the races in the main kingdom.
Lionine
Cheetahrin
Tigerin
Lynxen
Jaguarin
Leoporen

And these are the ones from another nation.
Wolven (wolf)
Domeseon (domesticated breeds, mainly german shepard and rottweiler)
Domven (Offspring of Wolven/Domeseon pairing)


Now, for my races, they mostly appear human, with small signs that they are not fully human. Cheetahrin have spots on the skin, but not fully covering their bodies. Same with Tigerin and their stripes. Their finger nails are tough, but not shaped like claws. Their canine teeth are a little sharper/longer than a humans, but not by a whole lot, and their ears are more pointed than humans (except for Domeseon and some Domven). All were created (originally) by a scientist developing....super soldiers...(yes, that's what I said. There is no magic in this world setting.) I need to make a better picture showing the differences in my races. Oh, and the characters don't know they were experiments. They don't know much about their history beyond the last 200 some years. In the third installment of the trilogy, they will learn this, after meeting several other races they didn't know existed. I'll go over them at another time.

So,...thoughts?

[rebelshade]

This is Felena. I wanted to post this as an example to what a Cheetahrin looks like.

In this you can see her pointed ears, feline like eyes, and definitely her spots. But you can see that she still looks mostly human.


Art by me! Please don't steal!

Attachments:

[morganlbusse]

I don't see anything cheesy about your names. If you want to see what other books/games call their feline races, here is a list that has them (that I know of):

Hero, Second Class (book, Marcher Lord Press)

Oblivion (game)- has a feline race

Fire Emblem (game)- has a couple feline races and a wolf race.

I usually use books/games/whatever for research sometimes, just to see what's out there and how other authors or game developers have used the concept I'm thinking about using. Hope this helps

[fluke]

Interesting. My world also had human-cat merges (mages did the work about 1500 years ago). They are fur-covered. There are three "breeds": Leonine (lion merges), Tigrine (tiger merges), and Jubatine (cheetah merges). I have a picture of Granish, one of the Leonine here. That picture is set 5 years after the events of "The Strong Survive."

The breeds do not cross breed (I haven't decided if that's because they can't or because of they won't). Could be the latter as there is extreme rivalry between the groups. The leonine and tigrine argue frequently over who is fit to rule (details on succession of kings coming in "The Stronger Rule"). The jubatine keep out of the public debate but egg both sides on in private.

[myrthman]

I have two feline races in a space opera setting. The Kyleron are actually just intelligent and lingual sabre-tooth tigers; they still run on all fours. The Yamaneko are more like what you and fluke have developed: humanoids with feline features who wield katanas and laser guns in a blended martial art called Spebe Fai. In my fantasy setting, I have the Marmato, who are humanoids from a remote jungle island.

The names I use give little clues as to the appearance of the races, but that's my decision. I'll have to be very descriptive. I don't think your names are cheesy at all. Don't skimp on visual descriptions and details when you're writing your story, though. Part of the fun for readers is visualizing your characters; that they have revealing race names may actually help them get the general idea you're trying to convey.

[rebelshade]

I'm familiar with the Khajit from Oblivion, and kind of with the ones from Fire Emblem, Laguz as they are called. Here's an example for those not familiar with it.

My own races will be similar to both, and neither if that makes sense. I made another post explaining things in better detail. You can find it here. wherethemapends.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=genrefantasy&thread=1936&page=1

And yes, Fluke, I read your post about your races, and was shocked to see someone else with similar names.

I'm hoping to have better written descriptions in the actual writing than I do here. I'm also looking into making a visual guide for the races.