Warseed: Harvest

[fluke]

After much thought about which genre this falls in, here is a story idea I've been scribbling on.

Warseed: Harvest

During the Cold War, US military scientists began experiments to enhance US soldiers based on rumors that the Soviets were doing the same thing. Their experiments were successful, but prohibitively expensive even for the military. The generals ordered the project shelved. One colonel had a different idea. Pretending he had the go ahead from above, he ordered to test the "improved" Warseed serum on civilians. The serum was dropped from the air on unsuspecting towns. With no changes apparent in any target towns, the inhaled version was deemed a failure.

Fast forward...

Though the serum had no visible effect on those who inhaled it, it affected their genes. They passed on the enhancements to their children, and it manifested around the 16th birthday. But not only do the teens have enhanced strength and endurance, they have other abilities varying from person to person. Most of them have altered appearances as well. Now the military wants the children and the population is frightened of them. All they can do is run... and try to prove they are still human.



It's a rough idea, but I've wanted to do a supers story without dragging in the old school for gifted youngsters routine.

[Christian Soldier]

Without seeing more of the plot and characters, I'd still call it cliche, but that can change...easily. Could you share more detail about the characters, their abilities, their struggles, and the main plot?

[Teskas]

For some reason the novel, The Silver Sword comes to mind. Properly handled, yours could be a good story.

When you think about it, many good novels have cliche plot lines. The trick is to tell the same story is such a striking way that it seems fresh. It seems to me too early in the planning stage to delete this idea, Fluke.

[The Blue Collared Philosopher]

I think it is a great idea, (but i think most ideas would be cool.) And, i agree with Teskas, i think you are too early in the planning of the story to give up on it.

[fluke]

Thanks, guys. And thanks to CS for saying that the fixes could be easy ones. It is an early work, but I did most of the character sketches a few years ago (when it was going to be a school for gifted youngsters cliche). Then I started working on my fantasy novel...

These are some of the characters in the planning process. I won't want to add to many more at this point. It might even be good to scale back at first.

Garrett (his real name) - speed, healing factor, targeting.

Personality: Gruff old soldier.

History: Garrett was one of the soldiers who volunteered during the early testing. He lived alone until he heard about the seeders. The run aways form up in a team around him. He teaches them how to survive. They will live at his place.

Anima (Ann Todd) - claws, teeth, running (24 y/s), fur covered body, friend to all animals, animal ally (a lynx), speak with animals, see out of animal eyes, enahnced senses (night sight, hearing, and smell).

Personality: Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it hasn’t yet hurt Ann Todd! She sticks her nose into almost everything. However, she cannot do math higher than Algebra 1. She has a wicked sense of humor (loves practical jokes), laughs a lot, and has become much more confrontational since her manifestation. Most people will not mess with her when she’s in “one of her moods.” Likes to wear bright colored clothes but prefers black leather and dark shades when on a mission.

History: Ann had always loved animals. As a child in southern Georgia, she had many pets (some even officially). She first noticed her change when her animals began obeying very complex commands. She correctly assumed a manifestation but hoped to keep it quiet. As she worked with her animals, she noticed other powers (such as being able to see out of an animal’s eyes and a massive speed increase when running through the woods and open fields). She would have been quite happy to never manifest her powers publicly. Her hope of a normal life and her lifelong dream of being an actress ended at her sweet sixteen party. When blowing out the candles, her fur sprouted.

She ran away that night.

Struggle: Change of dreams.

Arachnia (Jill Thurmond) - Four arms and fangs. Enahnced dodge and heightened agility. Venom from bite.

Personality: Jill’s life on the streets drastically changed her personality from what it once was. While once “perky” would have best described Jill, “angry” would work now. She keeps a wall around herself that no one can get through.

History: Before the streets, Jill lived on a Colorado ranch. She learned to ride at an early age, but has not been on a horse in years. Her first manifestation took place when a gunman threatened her and her best friend. When he grabbed Jill, she bit his hand. Both girls saw the man die, and Jill ran before the police could arrive. She spent the next several years on the street, joining and then running a small gang of seeders. She survived this way for years, making a shell around herself and letting no one in.

Purify (a militant hate group) found her and her gang. Only Arachnia survived the onslaught. Purify kept her alive to do testing and extraction on her venom. She will be rescued from the prison by the other characters after they find out about it. Her time on the streets gave her several illegal skills. She is still wanted by the police in Denver.

Jill’s time on the streets and in Purify’s prison scarred her—maybe for life. The girl simply will not open up to people. And since Siren can't stand spiders, those two don't get along.

Bolt (Steven Peters) - Powered flight (top speed 300); Scan through walls (18 yards); Radar (9 mile); Lightning Blast from hands. Skin leaks electricity, not enough to hurt but is a shock.

Personality: Lacks confidence, quiet, and contemplative. Broods over the girlfriend he lost due to the change.

History: Without much physical change, he tried to keep the change quiet, but word got out. He left home *during* a capture attempt by the military. Will attempt a visit to Nichole later. This won't turn out well when she says something along the lines of "At least you aren't one of those deformed ones."

Struggle: Accepting himself as a seeder.

Gestalt (Jake O'Neil) - paralyzed from the waist down by a car accident but no one can tell now. He draws power from electrical sources and uses it for telekinesis, to move himself and things.

Personality: Jake is extremely mathematically minded. Give him any problem or math riddle, and he will likely solve it within minutes. This is also a weakness because a stumping riddle makes him stay up all night until it is solved (hence his addiction to games of chance). Though he cannot legally enter a casino, he spends much time studying different games to find strategies in them. He has a temper and seems to be trying to “prove something.”

History: Jake’s family knew about his power before he did. After he turned 13, they noticed that electrical devices in their Oregon home sometimes fluttered when he was around. During a two-day power outage, Jake became extremely lethargic. He manifested completely after the car wreck. He had no physical changes.

Null Space (Nick Fontain) - teleportation (2 miles max). Eyes are black pools. Likes to dress goth.

Personality: The consummate post-modern, Nick’s electronic underground skills are top-notch, and he has contacts and accounts on systems all over the world (few know his real age). Many people owe him favors. He rarely laughs, and his gothic clothes coupled with his black eyes only add to his mysteriousness. Null-Space tends to think the military sticks its nose in many places where it does not belong.

History: A runaway even before his manifestation, Nick lived on the streets of New York. He isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty. He keeps quiet about his past.

Siren (Marie Johnson) - swims fast (88 yrds/second), sonic scream (damage increases when under water), turns into a mermaid when submerged. Must submerge for at least one hour daily.

Personality: “Style” would define Miss Johnson best. She loves to dress well and dress up. She’s also a flirt and knows it, but she tends to shy away after a few dates. She’s likable and nice but her curiosity tends to get her in trouble. She could never remember where she put her book bag and was often out the door when she realized she didn’t have it. Like most Texan girls her age, she loves riding horses. She is scared of spiders.

History: The Lutheran Marie came from Texas. She manifested later than most seeders, but in a very public way. She first manifested when she jumped off a diving board at a school swimming competition. When her whole body was under she turned into a mermaid for the first time. At that moment she first discovered her sonic scream, which blasted a large hole in the swimming pool and toppled the diving board. Luckily, no one was hurt. After someone brought Marie a robe so she could get out of the pool, a mob chased her out of the city. Fearing her parents would try to act as if nothing had changed, she ran away. Siren had been on the swim team until the manifestation. She had hoped to return to the state finals in her upcoming senior year.

[J Jack]

Now two shows come to mind. The 4400 and mutant X. Now I don't know if that's the intended plan, but that's what I think of. This could be amazing and I love near future thrillers, but it seems too...blah. No offense, but it's dry and regular. A few tweaks could make it something amazing, and I hope you figure those out because truth be told I cannot. I know they are there but I don't know what they are.

[fluke]

Now two shows come to mind. The 4400 and mutant X. Now I don't know if that's the intended plan, but that's what I think of.

Never watched either, so I don't know how close they are to Warseed. I've tried to stay away from mutant and since the seeders are due to a form of genetic engineering, I was toying with gengineered.

This could be amazing and I love near future thrillers, but it seems too...blah. No offense, but it's dry and regular.

Thank you! No offense taken. I agree that its too dry, that's why I put the idea here.

A few tweaks could make it something amazing, and I hope you figure those out because truth be told I cannot. I know they are there but I don't know what they are.

When I first started work on my fantasy novel, Gifts of Healing, I had the same issue. The story was too much like other books. Not that any one book was exactly like it, but it seemed a little like this one and a little like that one. Finally, the tweak came to me (I needed to make the plot personal, most of the characters wouldn't care about the big problem unless I got them personally involved first). When I did that, it improved drastically. I imagine Warseed needs something like that. Like you said a couple little things could make it a whole new ball game.

Thank you, Sabre. And if anyone figures out those tweaks, I'm all ears.

Frank Luke

[Christian Soldier]

Hey Frank! So, you have these amazing characters ready for action, except for Arachnia who's still in the clutches of Purify. Now we need an antagonist(s) and plot. Purify sounds too...cliche, but then again, any super villain would be. From where I sit, which is rather far away, it looks like you need one of two antagonist types: the kind you love to hate...a lot, or the kind that some odd part of you likes. The latter could be an executive or lawyer. I would avoid using the military as the chief enemy largely because every super hero story does, which is annoying if your actually IN the military. Although...it was cool when I saw the general in the Hulk wearing the 1st Cavalry Division patch.

You also need something cool for them to do... What is their goal, their aim? to survive? Sounds neat, but what are you going to throw in there to grab and hold the reader's attention? This being an action story, somewhat, you need to keep on the pressure. Siren's need to be in water an hour a day is a great example of what I'm talking about.

Two notes on the characters:

Arachnia... I did a search on the name and came up with a movie from 2003, which means that they'll want money to use the name.

And Gestalt... he sounds exactly like one of Anne McCaffery's characters from her Unicorn series. Seriously, the gestalt and the back story are almost the same. The only difference is that your Gestalt is only paralyzed from the waist down.

I hope this helps, and I sincerely hope I wasn't offensive. I'll keep thinking on it and see what I can come up with, though no promises. May God bless you and your work--CS

[fluke]

Hey Frank! So, you have these amazing characters ready for action, except for Arachnia who's still in the clutches of Purify. Now we need an antagonist(s) and plot. Purify sounds too...cliche, but then again, any super villain would be. From where I sit, which is rather far away, it looks like you need one of two antagonist types: the kind you love to hate...a lot, or the kind that some odd part of you likes. The latter could be an executive or lawyer. I would avoid using the military as the chief enemy largely because every super hero story does, which is annoying if your actually IN the military. Although...it was cool when I saw the general in the Hulk wearing the 1st Cavalry Division patch.

Don't worry, CS. I have too many chaplaincy friends to make the military the main villain. A company trying to exploit the seeders. Seeders with more nefarious ideas (called the Brotherhood and led by a seeder with the power to control metal, right :. Of course, with some of the stunts Putin has been pulling lately, maybe they could find out that the military was right and the Soviets had created their own Seeders. Hmmm... Still, there needs to be one villain in charge of making their lives miserable. :grin:

You also need something cool for them to do... What is their goal, their aim? to survive? Sounds neat, but what are you going to throw in there to grab and hold the reader's attention? This being an action story, somewhat, you need to keep on the pressure. Siren's need to be in water an hour a day is a great example of what I'm talking about.

So, crank up the pressure. Bring them to a boil. Everybody needs more tragedy but not necessarily of the physical variety. The master character will have to go to what Lars Walker calls "the lonely place." That's the place where heroes make the choices that show they are heroes (Gethsemane, for instance). When Strider and company charge the Black Gate even though they believe Saraun has the ring and they are doomed. When the hero decides to go on even though all looks lost.

Two notes on the characters:

Arachnia... I did a search on the name and came up with a movie from 2003, which means that they'll want money to use the name.

And the google result makes me think it a trashy movie. Would simply changing the spelling make it right? Arachne, like the myth?

And Gestalt... he sounds exactly like one of Anne McCaffery's characters from her Unicorn series. Seriously, the gestalt and the back story are almost the same. The only difference is that your Gestalt is only paralyzed from the waist down.

Then he definitely needs to change. The Jake side could remain as is (I like the math geek), but the seeder side will have to become different. No paralysis and same ability. Or different ability with paralysis.

I hope this helps, and I sincerely hope I wasn't offensive. I'll keep thinking on it and see what I can come up with, though no promises. May God bless you and your work--CS

None at all. Thank you. Better to make changes in the beginning than to work for months and have rippling changes. I'll keep working on pieces.

Frank Luke

[Khiya]

I was wondering what some of the themes are that you're planning to include, Fluke. I know that sometimes a story with familiar character types can take on a new dimension if the theme or the points of the story are surprising or not immediately obvious.

There would have to be a Normal vs. Abnormal theme, of course, and What it Really Means to be Human, and personal relationships almost have to be there to make the characters real, but what if you tried to work in some other themes that at first glance would have nothing to do with a story like this?

I guess I mean that if you shake up the readers' preconceptions about what "mutant" stories would include, then it suddenly becomes a whole lot more interesting. (I hope this is helpful, I feel like I've been rambling and vague.)

Just remember, America never gets tired of "super" stories!

[tranehess]

I like your ideas. If you put as much effort and originality into your plot as you have into your characters, you'll really have something. Remember your characters in despair need to be shown that there is hope, there is help, and there is an important future. The important future is for them to help form. They need to overcome their own emotional problems so they can look outside themselves, and help others, and help build a meaningful future. I don't know what the spiritual aspect of your story is, but if it is a Christian religion story, or an allegory with a God figure, they need to learn to trust in Him and accept what He has allowed to happen to them as part of His will, for His specific purposes. I can see this becoming not just a single book, but a series. Fwiw.

[myrthman]

There was a series of comics out a while back (maybe 3 years?) that you might be interested in reading. They were called Muties and were set in the X-men world. Each issue detailed a different character as the mutation manifested. The twist was this: they were neither heroes nor villains, just kids caught off guard by a sudden mutation. Some reacted well, some didn't. They never joined teams or anything like that and the stories just kind of ended abruptly at the end of each issue. I had hoped they would resurface at least as cameos in later X books, but I don't think they ever did. I was kind of disappointed in fact.

Point is, I'd be interested to read Warseed. The Bible says a man reaps what he has sown: I'm wondering if the subtitle of "Harvest" would be an avenue to explore for plot?

Please keep us updated on how the story is developing!

[Therin]

Following what myrthman said, maybe the colonel would eventually "reap" what he had sown. Maybe someone in his family is a seeder? Oh wait, X-men 3...
Or the colonel could just be a background character. It's your choice, of course.

[fluke]

Myrthman,

Point is, I'd be interested to read Warseed. The Bible says a man reaps what he has sown: I'm wondering if the subtitle of "Harvest" would be an avenue to explore for plot?

;D ;D ;D

Now I'm getting some ideas! Thank you! I saw in another thread you have a small son. Our son just turned one month old today.

Therin,

Following what myrthman said, maybe the colonel would eventually "reap" what he had sown. Maybe someone in his family is a seeder? Oh wait, X-men 3...
Or the colonel could just be a background character. It's your choice, of course.

Isn't it a kicker that so many good ideas have been done by Marvel and DC? Of course, there are only a few plots really, just done differently. Along these lines, it would be a twist if the Colonel has a relative (nephew or niece maybe) who manifests as a seeder, and the Colonel comes to repentance because he sees first hand what he has unleashed on others.

Thanks to all of you, Khiya and Trachness as well. You've given me some ideas to let ferment a while.

[myrthman]

You mentioned my son and an idea for your story sparked immediately: why wait until puberty for the mutation (if that's the agreed-upon word) to manifest? Something you might be able to explore that really hasn't been done successfully yet (I'm thinking Baby Geniuses 2...yech!) is superheroic children. Might not have the same audience appeal that teens would but why not explore it? They're super-powered but still have need of someone to help them tie their shoes and wipe their noses or something. Could be quite funny!

Congrats on the baby! Has your writing schedule suffered at all since a month ago?