Can you condense your plot to one sentence?

[Kessie]

Stormiel: For more details on the story blurb, here's the article I took it from:

jimbutcher.livejournal.com/1308.html

The rest of this guy's livejournal is writing tips like this. I found it absolutely revolutionary. While other writing books have explained things like scenes, sequels, how to format a climax and how to map character motivations, I've found these articles to be the most entertaining.

[Bethany J.]

Some attempts for my two main WIP's...

WIP 1: A brother and sister accidentally teleport to another world, and discover a decades-long war raging to protect Earth from invasion.

WIP 2: Three thousand years in the future, a group of fugitive homeschoolers take in a military deserter who was raised by the totalitarian government and still isn't quite sure where her loyalties lie.

[Kessie]

Bethany: Ooo, that second one sounds really interesting! (A friend and I were just talking about how hard your first one was to critique, because it was so well written and entertaining.)

[beckyminor]

Great thoughts here on the ever-annoying process of writing a blurb. It's one of those things I constantly revisit and revise, and I still never quite hit it. Here's one for my current Windrider book, which is technically 6 words too long for Jeff's 25 word hook. I tend to use the "When--then" model that is prevalent in the movie industry.

When Lieutenant Commander Vinyanel Ecleriast uncovers a diabolical plot of blood sacrifice and mass summoning, he self-appoints a perilous rescue fraught with enemies, the greatest of which he discovers in himself.

[Bethany J.]

Kessie - You're so kind! Thank you. That second story is a long-standing work in progress that has never been finished yet. The newer version only has a few chapters...maybe I should submit them to the Sandbox for thoughts?

[Kessie]

Bethany: Don't submit an unfinished work for crits. You'll revise those first few chapters forever and never progress in the story. Finish it and then submit it. Although, personally, I'm much more interested in the sequel to your other story. :-)

[newburydave]

Um, I don't know if I'd agree with that. I think the first part of your E-Summary expressed the conflict very well. Restating it after the comma sounded redundant and IMHO weakened your presentation.

One of the writing tips I got from somewhere was "Don't insult the intelligence of your readers. Assume they are of normal intelligence and don't spell everything out for them; allow them to figure it out from the context and dialog."

(actually if they are reading in this day and age, they are probably of above average intelligence)

Concerning your E-Summary:
He loves her and she's the captive of the evil bad guy, ipse dixit there is a major conflict in those facts because true love always acts to rescue the beloved one. (eg. God so loved that He Gave.)

There is enough of a driver there to make him rise above his cowardice.

This is actually the quintessential goad that makes most boys grow up into men, genuine love for another that gets them out of their infantile self-centeredness into sacrificial service to another.


I'd say you stated the facts of the case in a way that showed the conflict much more powerfully than any one phrase explanation after the comma ever could. If you end at the comma you invoke all the social and cultural context of our society to rescue the helpless and help the underdog. That is powerful writing.

Bottom line: don't doubt your instincts and R.U.E. (Resist the Urge to Explain) it sounds like you've got natural talent for expressing yourself in writing. Run with it and don't second guess yourself. Submit your work it to a group you trust for Critique and let the feedback teach you.

Write on my Brother

SGD
dave

[newburydave]

Dec 18, 2012 11:14:49 GMT -5 beckyminor said:

Great thoughts here on the ever-annoying process of writing a blurb. It's one of those things I constantly revisit and revise, and I still never quite hit it. Here's one for my current Windrider book, which is technically 6 words too long for Jeff's 25 word hook. I tend to use the "When--then" model that is prevalent in the movie industry.

When Lieutenant Commander Vinyanel Ecleriast uncovers a diabolical plot of blood sacrifice and mass summoning, he self-appoints a perilous rescue fraught with enemies, the greatest of which he discovers in himself.

Ah ha;

so it is getting close to publication. Yes?

Wait, are you writing this E-Summary as a summation of the completed work, or as a planning tool

It sounds like you've got a good follow on conflict for the next chapter in the saga.

(Disclaimer: I'm a fan of the wind rider series. Waiting for the next episode with anticipation. [and I usually find fantasy boring])

Write on sis

SGD
dave

[newburydave]

Dec 18, 2012 11:14:49 GMT -5 beckyminor said:

When Lieutenant Commander Vinyanel Ecleriast uncovers a diabolical plot of blood sacrifice and mass summoning, he self-appoints a perilous rescue fraught with enemies, the greatest of which he discovers in himself.

Becky;

May I suggest shortening up the names and making the descriptions less flowery.

ie. (working with your example above)

"When Vinyanel discovers a blood sacrifice cult he goes AWOL on a perilous rescue attempt only to find that he is his own greatest enemy."

Remember, R.U.E.; especially in one sentence summaries.

Write on Sis

SGD
dave

Thanks for the input Dave--you are right that I need to tighten it up, but I do need to be careful not to modernize the language to a point where it would create brand ambiguity (mostly referring to the acronym AWOL--though that is pretty much exactly what he does, I have to keep it world-relevant.) I tend to over-write and then have to trim back. I appreciate the ideas on how to simplify.

And as for the book's current state, as soon as I can get it edited, I will send it off to my publisher for their consideration, as we are going on a book-by-book contractual arrangement on these. Provided they accept the manuscript, I hope I can have it out for late spring or early summer. Later than I wanted to publish this since the last books have been out a while, but since I have two series running concurrently, I kind of did that to myself. Here's hoping this next one delivers in a satisfying way for those who are waiting for it. It's already over 100K, and I still have the climactic scene to wrap up, as well as the falling action.

[stormiel]

Thanks for the critique offer Joel My best friend called first dibs on editing. I'm going to see if I can survive that first (once I can weather one of her nit-picking storms I should be able to handle anything lol).