Eternal Eclipse - Feedback please

[ryain]

I had an idea for a story and I just want to know what you guys think.

Cerbrolen, a world or eternal eclipse, where humanity lives in always-lighted compounds to keep the danger out. For the forested countryside is populated by the inhabitants of the night, Vampires. The light, generated by large generators keeps the vampires at bay, but for some the call of the unknown and immortality is too tantilizing. Until a generator breaks down and darkness covers the city.
Can a few surviors make it through the vampire infested night to the next city? Or will thye join the ranks of Eternal Eclipse?

I have the whole story line done if anyone is interested in reading it.

Looking forward to your feedback.

[beckyminor]

Hey ryain, I hope you don't mind, but in keeping with Jeff's descriptions of the sub-forums here in the Homeworld, I've moved your topic to where we keep the vampires. (Like we could "keep" them anywhere, was that our intention.)

I find the idea of a "dark world" interesting, especially because of the biological implications. Are people morose and depressed? Can they generate enough artificial light to force crop growth? Add in the continual threat of blood suckers hanging just beyond the circle of light, and you've got quite a bevy of conflicts waiting to arise.

[birdnerd]

That's an interesting premise.

You'd have to be mindful of the weird ecology that would have to have developed on that world.

I can give you some hints toward that if you'd like, but I'd suggest that you look into some shade- or darkness-intense ecosystems like the floors of rainforests or cave ecosystems or way underwater...

Flora and fauna would be quite different from the local, garden variety grass and squirrels.

[ryain]

No problem Becky. Sorry I put it in the wrong spot and thanks for fixing it.

As to the dark world, I haven't given it a lot of thought but I was thinking a sort of stubbly plant life or a fungus dominated biome.

Thanks fo the feedback.

[birdnerd]

Pigments would be different.

Plants have lots of different pigments. Some green, some red, some yellow, some kind of blue-green. Depending on how much light the plant normally gets, the colors vary. Bright, happy greens for plants that get lots of sun. More yellow and red for those that don't.

Fungi, of course, don't need light, so any color's a good color.

(:
birdnerd

[J Jack]

What about the emotions, and living in artificial light all the time is like having day six months of the year like up north. Depression would be extreme, and on top of that the threat of the outsiders.
To me that adds the extra option of having the character you suspect but never know, the engineer who is always depressed and talking about how he hates living in light constantly, you have to wonder if he shut down the generator.

Just a thought

[Spokane Flyboy]

For an established world to get ideas from, you might check out a place called "The Underdark" from D&D's Forgotten Realms campaign setting. The Underdark is a vast system of interconnected caverns under much of the main continent in the setting. It's featured prominently in several of R.A. Salvatore's books involving his character Drizzt Do'Urden. Cheifly Homeland, Exile, Sojurn, Legacy, and Seige of Darkness.

Fungi seems to be the primary food source in The Underdark. There's also a domesticated creature called rothe that feed of fungi and are kept by the drow (also known as dark elves. And for the unfamiliar, it's pronounced like brow, not like crow).

[ryain]

I really need some sort of forest so I might use fungi (although large and tree like) as a main plant base. I might change the biology of the plants and remove light a an nessesary part of photsynthisis.

Emotion wise, yes betrayal and anger are prevelent in my society as well as depression. Its also what cause people to leave the safty of the compound and venture out into the wild.

I am intrigued by "the underdark" I looked it up on wikkipedia but it didn't have a detailed description. I have sort of used the idea of underdark( although I thought of it before then when I found out about underdark i was surprised how similar they were) in the book I'm writng right now.

Thanks so much guys!

[myrthman]

Tree-sized mushrooms and molds? Love it! Reminds me of Mario. Would love to read more of this world you're building.

I think there was a movie about vamps in the arctic north. 30 Days of Night maybe? I didn't see it but it might provide some ideas.

[J Jack]

30 days of night was more focused on vampires attacking the few members of a community during the months where there was no sunlight. It has the emotions I suppose, the fear of the dark and the depression but it never really built much on anything else, sadly. Coulda been a good movie

[Kristen]

I'm puzzled as to why people would choose to colonize a place with no sunlight. Mining colony, maybe?

I think it's an intriguing storyline. Sounds like the vampires are the bad guys again. As it should be.

[ryain]

Aug 1, 2010 18:07:19 GMT -5 Kristen said:

I'm puzzled as to why people would choose to colonize a place with no sunlight. Mining colony, maybe?

I think it's an intriguing storyline. Sounds like the vampires are the bad guys again. As it should be.

Hmm, not mining. More like a galatic shift blocking the earth from the sun. If that can work. I still need to refine some things.

And yes Vampires are bad always.