Explanation of a vote on Dulci's 2.0 synopsis proposal:
I'd like to bring into that a rogue religious sect; probably the Alliance of Faith, by that or another name. This sect would also try to get in on the search for the orb of power, but would have to do so clandestinely, lest they be caught by the government, or at least by elements in the government that want the orb of power for themselves.
The rest of the people pursuing the orb of power ought to be doing so for political or economic reasons, with the vast majority having no clue as to why they're on this primitive world. Furthermore, very few of them would have any faith at all in anything but themselves, and perhaps, their government or corporation. Other than those two things, I vote we go for Dulci's 2.0
Some struggle through the desert because He said . . .[br][br]". . .If you would be my disciples, you must take up your cross daily and follow me"
I'm seeing a couple of gaps in my synopsis, so here's what I'd modify:
1) The Kalorbi (inserting some of mongoose's mods here) aren't after the Relic for anything but power and the power to live forever (they are convinced it will give them mental, and not mystical, power). They are a mostly atheistic society with the discovery and widespread use of their logic drug, which gives them the illusion that they no longer have the need for religion. A few of the old order still has remnants of belief, but these are generally discounted as extremists.
In this vein, I'm thinking that Qali used to be of the drug-refusing old order, but when his family was killed he severed ties with his "old" ways. This would be why he so virulently wants to destroy the Relic.
Also, when the Kalorbi come in the aftermath of the last battle, most of them are very angry that the Relic was destroyed, and Qali is forced to lead most of the believers into hiding. Only a base few of the Kalorbi might still believe that the Relic meant anything religiously, but they'd also likely keep this opinion to themselves...most of the time.
2) Vanglor should either be a prince (in the sense of the supreme-ruling Russian princes), a king, or be shown to be part of a tightly woven governing network with a supreme ruler at the head. The latter would make the story more politically complex, but might add extra motive layers to the villain as well if he's amongst scheeming noble houses and answering to his leader (who he's probably plotting to overthrow with the Orb of Power coming into the picture). I'd vote for the latter.
3) That the Being be a representation of God in the story, and though he is God in the story, to have another name.
4) The majority of the miners are "in essence" human - I'm not saying actually human, but human in the same way that Star Wars humans are "human." They are a lesser race in the galactic hierarchy than the Kalorbi, which might be part of the motive for trying to find the Kalorbi's Relic - best them in revenge at their own game, so to speak. Kata would probably be under contract or pressure from the human governments to find the Relic and bring it back to them - hence the reason for the Kalorbi suspicion - but has motives to keep and use it herself.
There are a few Kalorbi and other races with the miners, though, in places where their race capabilities will have preference. They are generally looked down upon by the humans, though.
Post by lonerangerone on Mar 30, 2007 17:11:05 GMT -5
Not to throw a kink at anyone, but how about a modified Lletherial Synthesis, where the tripping about between times actually causes what appears to be the God event in Synthesis, and then the resulting fallout from the responsibility that could create?