I need help with my suspense novel

[jenni]

I need a little help for my suspense. An editor is interested in Candles on the Water, but it isn't long enough at 68,000 words, so I have to expand it some.

My main character is Mitchum who is a powerful judge in a Manhattan court. He has a place where he stays in the city, but he owns a large ranch style home about an hour and a half north of New York.

It didn't matter before where the house was, but now I want to add a scene at the house. Do any of you know, or live near a small town, village, where this house could be located near some woods?

The second thing I wanted to ask was that I have Mitchum in love, but not for long, with a court stenographer. Being an officer of the court, would that be allowed?

Thanks for any help you can give me. Jenni

[Teskas]

You can easily have a character living near woods. An hour or hour and a half drive from New York City will take you into very pretty wooded countryside, mixed with suburban housing, farmland, and forest. Lots of small towns pepper the region, more than a few isolated cottages or small old-fashioned homes scattered about.

Judges tend to be careful about propriety. A courtroom stenographer ordinarily would be off-limits for romance. You could create a prior connection between the two, though, such as growing up together, or going to the same school, something like that. For authenticity's sake, be warned, the judges I've met in real life tend to keep to themselves in the courts and not socialize with staff.

[jenni]

Thanks Teskas. I'll rework the x-girlfriend angle. I'm glad I asked. Jenni

[Jeff Gerke]

Most stories I evaluate are lacking four things, all of which will, when added, expand to a book's wordcount.

They're missing a good introduction of the main character (see Tip #15 on this page) and they're missing adequate descriptions of all the important settings of the book (see Tips 5-8 here).

They're also often missing something that sets the timebomb to ticking (Tip #20 here), so consider if you might add a prologue that does this.

Finally, many novelists don't stay with the primary protagonist for the first contiguous ~40 pages of the book (not counting the prologue, which is a freebie). Going back and writing scenes that allow you to stay in this one storyline for 40 pages will also probably expand your book. (Read Tip #43 for why you should do this.)

These steps helped turn A Star Curiously Singing from a 48,000 word ms. to a 72,000-word book. (Help me out, courageforever: what was the original and ending wordcount?)

Jeff

[jenni]

Thanks Jeff:

I don't have any side plots in the book, so I have a good introduction of all five characters as adults and as children. The prologue sets the ticking timebomb. After being edited to death, the final wordcount was 68,000 word, rounded out of course.

Thanks for your suggestions. Jenni

[Jeff Gerke]

What about descriptions of settings?

Also, if you've been "edited to death," you've probably eliminated all telling in your book, right? Converting telling to showing is another great way to both greatly strengthen your book and increase your wordcount.

[jenni]

Here are a few spots where I could expand the settings. The Self-Editing for Fiction Writers was a big help, and of course some of your tips that I printed out. Plus I had both my writers clubs who were a big help. I did eliminate a lot of telling, using dialogue in some places. I guess this old dog can still learn some new tricks after all. One thing you would probably disagree about this book is the chapter length of 5-6 pages. It seemed to work well with this novel. Jenni

[morganlbusse]

One thing I thought of is check the pacing of your book. If a scene is moving to fast, expand it. I find that when I write a rough draft, I'm getting the skeleton of the book down and generally need to go back and start putting more layers in.

[Bainespal]

Feb 4, 2010 14:34:17 GMT -5 jenni said:

My main character is Mitchum who is a powerful judge in a Manhattan court. He has a place where he stays in the city, but he owns a large ranch style home about an hour and a half north of New York.

It didn't matter before where the house was, but now I want to add a scene at the house. Do any of you know, or live near a small town, village, where this house could be located near some woods?

Well, I happen to know upstate New York pretty well, seeing as I live there. The general setting of small towns surrounded by woods is accurate for many parts of the region. I'm assuming that by "ranch style home" you mean one of those long, single-story houses. If so, I imagine that the house in your story is located directly on one of the many highways that run through rural countryside between towns and cities. It's fairly common for houses to be built along the highways within the limits of the townships but outside village or city proper.

Since this house is an hour and a half north of New York City, you should seriously consider how close it is to the capital city of Albany. I'm not completely sure, but I think a drive of an hour and a half from New York would take you further north of Albany. Your house could easily be located west of Albany, and east of Utica.

I hope that helps.

[jenni]

Thanks everyone, for all your help.

Bainespal: I went on line to houses for sale north of New York and I found the perfect house for my character in Hillsdale, NY, that's more than 2 hours drive. It's a 3200 Sq. Ft. house, but not a ranch that's built into a hillside. I printed out the information on it and will use some of it. Thanks again. Jenni