I.D.I

[J Jack]

World War Three. Conflict between Russia and Britain, America and France, Canada and Germany. Each group vies for supremacy through a German Scientist named Henrich Schruebmann (pronounced Hyn-rik Shru-men) pioneer in Nuclear Physics, Genetics, and Biologic Warfare. Each country has a special division of government tasked with retrieval of Schruebmann.

U.S- Task Force Omega
Canada- Department of Military and Scientific Research (DMSR)
Britain- National Defense and Research Agency (NDRA)
France- Division militaire de recherches (Military Research Division/MRD)
Russia- Воинская группа выдвижения (Military Advancement Group)
Germany- Heeresnachrichtendienst (Military Intelligence)

Another private group tries to stop these others using deadly force and covert operations. This group is the International Defense Initiative. Funded and founded by billionaire oil tycoon Rex Murphy, it is a group of disgruntled ex special forces from all the countries playing this deadly game from Spetsnaz to SEALs, SAS paratroopers to Kommandos.

Henrich fled south from Berlin abandoning his labs to flee to a safe bunker on the Italian border. A group of German soldiers protect him under orders from the head of the German Heeresnachrichtendienst.

The I.D.I are working with he Germans to extract Heinrich to a base in Austria where the German military and I.D.I can keep the mos valuable man on earth alive. Heinrich is the most knowledgeable man on the topic of the S.S operations in he Alps, that worked towards a means to the end. They used hundreds of scientists to work on a special gas that worked to break down specific cells. Cells that were the source of cancer, AIDS, and several other deadly viruses. The plan was to cure disease in Germans making them a superior race and indeed prolonging their lives through the fabled fountain of youth.

The I.D.I team leader former Canadian SF Captain Lewis Davidson, fights his morales and beliefs about keeping this man alive. His research would not only do good but it could be used for worse. No matter what countries promised they would always work on a gas that would break down healthy proteins and cells to break apart humans.

I'm getting writer's block so please give criticism and any ideas and thought. I kinda don't like the idea...so please make it better. I just like the action scenes I have planned for his almost mush of Sci Fi and near future.

[Jeff Gerke]

Dude, what's not to like? But you know I'm a sucker for any story about ex-Special Forces guys!

Maybe your next step should be to establish your three-act structure and your protagonist's inner journey.

For the former, see Method #3 at this link: www.wherethemapends.com/writerstools/writers_tools_pages/publishing_biz_pages/synopses.htm. Start your thinking by first coming up with your climactic moment, and work backward.

For the latter, see Tips 3 and 4 at this link: www.wherethemapends.com/writerstools/writers_tools_pages/tip_of_the_week.htm.

Jeff

[J Jack]

Thanks Jeff. I thought it over and came up with some points for Act I and Act II as put in the hints as well as some inner journey for Davidson.

Davidson is a Christian, son of a preacher man, Saskatchewan born guy with morales rivaling those of Mother Theresa. However every star has it's supernova, ever man his breakdown. For Davidson it was his father. They argued over everything from beliefs to chores. From age fifteen Davidson wanted nothing more than to leave, to run from this controlling man. He found his chance when he turned nineteen. A good friend who left to join the Canadian Forces came back in a box. Davidson saw a chance for change, not only for him, but for the world. That was 2003. After signing with the CF Davidson was trained as a linguist, chemist, and demolitions expert. Both very handy during the war in the middle east. That was 2007 when he completed training. (all this works towards his dilemma but first you must understand the man.) In 2009 the war ended with the United States crushing the insurgents with a massive strike force of all branches of the military. In 2012 world war three began. A massive terrorist attack in New York, Washington, and Toronto instantly involved Canada and the U.S as allies again.
Now Heinrich steps into play. The German biochemist and genetic engineer is young by science world standards only thirty nine. He works on the abandoned S.S research into cell breakdown through injected serums. This could be used to cure cancer and other severe diseases by breaking down the specific cells causing the plagues. However in gaseous form the inhalation of such a chemical could break down human cells causing the person to simply fall apart, eaten from inside out by shark like chemicals.
Morality stands between Heinrich and completion of the final phase. As well as about four million soldiers and as many as fifty angry governments. Some want to rule the world, some want to cure it, some want to destroy the technology, some just want to be loved. So our hero Davidson gets to buddy boy and whammo, what is a guy to do with the fate of he world in his hands. One choice leads to freedom for millions, salvation for the sick and needy while playing God with lives. One path leads to control and power, sickening power, overwhelming power, overlord of the world power. The last condemns some to live in pain and agony, some to live in their rightful place as caretakers of the earth not rulers. Maybe a part where Davidson is forced to choose, squeeze the trigger or not.

That could be the transition from II to III. What does he choose?

Anyway my summary (not synopsis) of part one.

Attacks in major cities leading to chaos and war. Heinrich flees with bodyguards. Germany and Russia are spared damage from terroists and therefore blamed for attacks. War breaks out along Russian west and east fronts, German west front. World population is 16 billion close to triple 2007. This is because of major discoveries in medicine and agriculture. President is killed while in transit to Camp David, called an accident by PR people. New President declares war on Germany and Russia following Britain and Canada's lead. Former president was pacifist who did not want war. This decision leads into act II. Of course more happens but thats the jist of it.

Opinions?

[Christian Soldier]

I think I'd also be interested in Heinrich and his past. What are his morales like? Who are his guards if they're not the German military? What styles of Government are Russia and Germany using? Who are their other allies? When does France get invaded/conquered again(And why)?

Now, back to Davidson. Obviously everything would revolve around Davidson and his mission, maybe with side notes to Heinrich. What is Murphy's reasoning for starting IDI? What is it's purpose?

Last question: What is Israel doing during this?

Thanks--CS

[J Jack]

I was wondering what everyone's thoughts on gore for the sake of gore are?

[Christian Soldier]

Hmmm...I'v never been a big fan of Al...oh.Right. Me, I love it. I don't recommend going into huge detail, largely because it detracts from the story, but it someone's innards fall out, well, it happens in war. It can also make an nice spot to slow things down for a sec and let your readers catch their breaths.

[J Jack]

Ah, the beautiful questions of politics.

Russia is not democratic, Russia is a communist country in this time.
Germany is democratic, clean and sober for the past years keeping their noses clean.
Israel as well as other middle eastern countries and far east are trying to stay out. They see no point to entering a war that is just the biggest boys on the block pushing each other. They are completely uninvolved in the terrorist attacks and do not wish another war. Thats what the governments of each of these places say of course.
In reality Israel is backing the research and some Mossad are guarding Heinrich. Israel wants a piece of he proverbial pie so to say, they are tired of being pushed around and finally push back. Hard.

Murphy's reasons for starting I.D.I are simply he wanted to make a change and was the first to take real steps to that end. I.D.I is an organization that operates like the CIA claims it never has. Through any means I.D.I operatives obtain bad people and either remove them or use means to get the bad people into the custody of friendly agencies like the FBI or DHS. Murphy just wanted to make a safe place for his family and his descendants, that was his motive.

Friendlies to Germany and Russia abound. Both have allied out of necessity, along with France, Austria, Poland, Ireland, Cuba, and several other countries not on speaking terms with the US, Britain, and Canada.

France's role is much larger than expected. They are actually behind the attacks on US soil and the Presidential assassination. The French military and Intelligence are working to both ends however. Conquering and salvation. They wan control but through power in business. Money is power in this world. France gets invaded but not conquered when the Americans realize an agent named Peter DuValle orchestrated the bloodbaths. The French drive back all assaults with support from their allies.

Now Heinrich has morales. He believes in the cure and only works towards that. He wants to save people, he prays for it. Ah, common ground for out hero and our villain of sorts. Maybe Heinrich isn't the bad guy. He wants freedom for those that need it, and doesn't wish to play God, only to use his gifts to save those in need.

I hope I answered some questions and that you understand what is written as sometimes I ramble and cannot understand myself.

[J Jack]

Thanks for that little joke (he's being slammed for that concert thing people are saying its hypocritical) and for the input and the good point about a breathing break. Nonstop action will require some of those.

[Christian Soldier]

Oh yeah. Otherwise you leave your reader exhausted at the end. Battle is like that, but a book should not be. Sounds like you've got it under control though. Happy writing!

Oh, Any idea what your "climactic" moment will be?

[Jeff Gerke]

Good thinking, guys. Sabre, your story is coming along well.

Probably you don't need your protagonist's backstory, though. Readers aren't going to care about how he grew up in rural Tennessee and fought with his dad, I'm thinking. Unless your story is all about him reconciling with his dad.

Look again at Method #3 at the link about writing a good synopsis. That will help you not go too far back in time. Get your climactic moment firmly in your head, and then you'll be able to see clearly what needs to come before that to set it up, and what needs to come before that to set it up. And before you know it, you've got your three-act structure.

Note that you don't write it in reverse. You don't start the book with the climactic scene and then write it from finish-to-start. You just come at the creation of your story's structure by thinking about it from rear to front.

Jeff

[J Jack]

Question:
Should one of the guys on Davidson's team have a personal vendetta like a loved one has cancer?


Honestly I have no clue how to finish this story. I just have an outline, no beginning, middle, or end. Only the facts about what is going on are jumbled in my head so I would like to hear some ideas about what should happen before I even tackle my own mix of crazy plot twists (this should have many) and insane activities. All are welcome to take a crack at this nut.

[Christian Soldier]

Hmm...might want to try one of the various writing methods available. I tend towards the same thing. I can either get a super cool story (See Jeff's method for Plot-first authors) or awesome Characters (See www.advancedfictionwriting.com/art/snowflake.php on the Snowflake method [Thanks Jeff]). I tend to vary wildly between the two with no regard for "normal" thought processes or ideas.

[mongoose]

Of course, if this is the story you want to write (massive world war 3 hinging around one chemist and his chief ex-SOF body guard), then more power to you.

From where I'm coming from as a reader of such things, though, it doesn't work. I don't buy most of these world war ideas. I mean, what kind of event, in today's world, or even the world of the future, weakens the U.S. so much that anyone else has a fighting chance against her? Much less, any multiple countries? Or what would prompt the U.S. to actually wage an all out war on anyone? And if something DOES prompt our government and Pentagon to throw our entire military might at an enemy, or multiple enemies, and if they stand for more than a month against us, and it's plausible, the story tends to be too large for my mind. I can't handle more than one carrier battle group, or one Ranger battalion, or one . . . Whatever kind of unit. Maybe it's just me, but I never bothered to read Tom Clancy's Red Storm Rising for this reason. Clear and Present Danger, on the other hand, rawked. One small, SOF capable unit, with a few intel officers pulling strings, and one or two bad guys and good guys trying to take or keep control. THAT much I was able to understand.

The other thing I'd have a hard time accepting is that nations would go to war over one man and his knowledge and stuff. Sure, I could see several countries sending black ops teams after him, but why go to open war over it? It's like . . . Not even trying to smash a fly with a sledgehammer. It's more like trying to run over the fly with a tank! Let me give you an example of what does work in my mind:

Ted Dekker. "A Man Called Blest." An Israeli politician and zealot receives word from a devout ethiopian jew, via a cut-out, that the Arch of the Covenant has been found. Politician wants Arch. If he gets Arch, he'll need a temple for the Arch. To build a temple, he has to destroy the chief Islamic Mosque that occupies the site of Solomon's temple. The Palestinians, and other muslims, of course, don't want that. Israeli politician sends his daugher, Mossad agent, with her crack SOF capable team to go get the Arch.

So some Saudi Arabian Prince, who wants to rule all the Muslim nations in a Taliban kind of way, sends his son leading the best SOF capable team HE can muster, to get to the Arch first. The two teams play cat and mouse through the desert while the hero, led by God, gets to the Arch ahead of them all and determines to do something or other with it. In the meantime, Israel moves toward a vote in Knesset about whether or not to build the temple, the Islamic nations in the Middle East form a quick alliance and amass troops on Israel's borders, and the U.S. sends diplomats to make a fuss and ask everyone to calm down.

There's the threat of a potential world war, but it's intimated that the Islamic attack on Israel would be quickly crushed and it wouldn't escalate to the world level. Once Israel was invaded, the theory went, the U.S. and GB would react decisively, and no one could stand against that. Russia and their allies might complain, but they don't have the military might to do anything about it. In the story, the vote never happened, the temple wasn't built, and the islamic army never invaded. No world war. Just three or four individual PC players vying for the prize, each with a few NPCs backing them up. That's my kind of techno-thriller.

Like I said when I began this post, if you like the world war kind of scenario and that's what your story is about, go ahead and write it as you've described. the fact that I might not be a fan of that sub-genera is no indication that there's anything wrong with your writing or with your story.

[Jeff Gerke]

It can be difficult to render realistically something as complex as a world war, especially one in the modern era. You'd need to know so much to really pull it off.

However, as I'm sure mongoose would agree, no one would want to throw a wet blanket on your creativity, Sabre, especially with one of your early stories. Instead, we want to throw accelerant onto the fire of the passion of your idea.

My first novel was, I have to admit, pretty terrible. It remains unpublished. In fact, I don't think I even have it anywhere. Actually, it might not have been that bad--memory clouds it. But what was important was that I sat down and DID it. I finally left the doubts behind, at least long enough to get the thing written. Finishing it was a breakthrough moment for me. I realized I really could write a book-length story. And the rest is history.

Mongoose gives you a great reality check about the story you've bitten off, sabre, so take heed to what he points out. Maybe you can adjust your story somewhat to account for these things, making it even stronger than it would've been. But don't let anything discourage you about writing your story. You need to do it, even if no one ever reads this version of it. It's a stepping stone to the next place you want to be.

Jeff

[J Jack]

There is no such thing as a wet blanket over my creativity. It all just develops the story, so thanks for the input as it would be impossibly hard to create a realistic world war, and I love the two teams playing cat and mouse, but would probably expand that o several more teams.

(In a book called Temple by Matthew Reilly, a team is sent to retrieve a substance that would finish a bomb called the Supernova thatt is capable of killing the world. Upon arriving, a German team descends on them, then a group of U.S Army troops arrive only to be attacked by a paramilitary special ops group. So five teams or so are engaging eachother.)

Thanks and I hope to have a section finished and posted soon.