"Control Freaks" (the U.S.A. in 2042)

[Edward]

Greetings:

My current project takes us into the future (only 30 years) where we find a drastically changed social landscape. In a society where anything goes, no one is really free. The main character Sal, is a sort of modern St. Paul; initially a persecutor of Christians but from an epiphany event, becomes one of the persecuted.

I chose to write this one from the first person perspective as Sal should be in every scene.

You can read what I have so far from my Skydrive (the pdf):
skydrive.live.com/?cid=a04c74e4ef07b1ea&id=A04C74E4EF07B1EA!426

Any and all feedback would be so helpful...good, bad, ugly.

God's peace...
Edward

[Kessie]

If you need crits, why don't you sign up with the Sandbox?
groups.yahoo.com/group/AnomSandbox/

It's where we all go for confidential crits. :-)

[Edward]

Kessie:

The Sandbox is a rather secretive place...thanks for letting know about it. I knocked on the door there but no answer...I even dropped your name. Nothing, sound of crickets.

I did get a couple of automated emails from a fella named Dave though.

Edward

[newburydave]

Hey Edward;

Yeah, it's me the mythical dave. I see you made it into the membership rolls successfully, hopefully in one piece.

If you're familiar with how Yahoo groups works the Sandbox won't be hard to figure out. The roolz and how to post are pretty self explanatory. I tried to keep them simple.

Welcome.

Write on bro.

SGD
dave

[Edward]

Ah...the door opened. It's dave!

Hey dave....

I read through all the documentation regarding the Sandbox and hope to get active very soon. Hopefully, I can provide some insights and perspectives...but I'm pretty new at this writing business myself. Teaching really is the best way to learn.

God's peace...

p.s.: To all...feel free to leave any feedback or comments here though, I'm a big boy.