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Post by mldonovan on May 9, 2012 12:22:52 GMT -5
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Post by beckyminor on May 9, 2012 14:32:47 GMT -5
Congratulations! I hope you get some great feedback.
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Post by birdnerd on May 9, 2012 17:47:43 GMT -5
Fabu! I hope you get some good feedback.
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Post by yoda47 on May 9, 2012 21:05:06 GMT -5
congrats!
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Post by morganlbusse on May 10, 2012 7:02:42 GMT -5
Congrats! How exciting
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Post by newburydave on May 10, 2012 10:25:14 GMT -5
You go girl! ;D
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Post by veryblessedmom on May 10, 2012 14:33:08 GMT -5
CONGRATULATIONS!!! ;D
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Post by mldonovan on May 16, 2012 6:41:41 GMT -5
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Post by morganlbusse on May 16, 2012 7:44:03 GMT -5
I would keep reading
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Post by mldonovan on May 18, 2012 7:55:26 GMT -5
Thank you, Morgan!
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Post by Kristen on May 25, 2012 15:53:17 GMT -5
I would keep reading--I'm intrigued by the narrator's predicament and curious about his beef wirh destiny.
But I think some of the blog commenters had a good point about the fact that this first page is POV character rumination about stuff that's already happened. Real-time dramatization of events is more compelling.
Still, the setup is full of conflict. And itmakes you wonder what happened to Mom.
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Post by mldonovan on May 27, 2012 18:33:00 GMT -5
Thank you Kristen, I agree and I have re-written the first Chapter. I appreciated all the comments even though they were touch to take, at first...had to step back and "hear" what was being said! HA! I'm sure you guys understand!
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Post by marshwriter on May 28, 2012 6:19:28 GMT -5
Congrats! I would also keep on reading... My only comment is that I wouldn't call his belongings "meagre" if they "crammed" the car - maybe it's just me, but when I hear "meagre" I'm thinking the clothes on your back, an empty wallet and a few odds and ends. ... so... when do we get to read some more? Marsh
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Post by mldonovan on May 28, 2012 14:48:46 GMT -5
Thanks Marsh, I have submitted two more one pagers to hartline. She will let me know when she will post them. and I'll le t ya'll know. One of them is for the story I'll be working on at the June Camp NaNoWriMo. And the other is for the last one listed on my blog...the one that I do not have a description listed yet. I'm not sure what all is going to happen to Kalo to write a description yet....but I will!
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Post by marshwriter on Jun 1, 2012 6:11:24 GMT -5
Yay! Thanks! ;D
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