Post by seraphim on Jan 2, 2009 16:44:26 GMT -5
I took a look today at the on site random story generator and poked it a few times for a couple of chuckles and a slightly distrubed throat clearing or two...but then this popped up, and I found it very suggestive in a Monty Pythonish sort of way.
Bill Gamgee slammed his hand in frustration on the burled oak nightstand, "What do you mean the 'One' Necklace? Don't you mean the One Ring you and Mr. Frodo...you know, disposed of?"
"Daft boy," A wizened and balding Sam Gamgee muttered over the top of a thick quilt made many years before by his darling but departed Rosey. "Of course I mean necklace. Do you think Sauon so bereft of any fashion sense so as to make only a single piece of malevolent jewlery...no back up plan. I'm old, half blind and a quarter deaf but I'm not yet senile. The One Necklace, it is a powerful amulet of evil and you must destory it. That's a job for a proper unattached bachelor hobbit like yourself.
"And where am I supposed to get this 'One Necklace' to destroy?"
"You remember that pretty gold pendant your mother loved to wear so much...the one she would let no one touch without getting that wierd look in her eyes?"
"The one we buried her with?"
"The very one."
This is an epic disaster story about a rich man who wants to find a mate but is prevented from doing so by an ailing parent bent on undoing a terrible wrong. God has designs on our hero, however. He wants to teach him/her to surrender to God's plan, a lesson he/she resists. In the end, through our hero's shady friends and the intervention of J.R.R. Tolkien, the amulet is recovered.
Bill Gamgee slammed his hand in frustration on the burled oak nightstand, "What do you mean the 'One' Necklace? Don't you mean the One Ring you and Mr. Frodo...you know, disposed of?"
"Daft boy," A wizened and balding Sam Gamgee muttered over the top of a thick quilt made many years before by his darling but departed Rosey. "Of course I mean necklace. Do you think Sauon so bereft of any fashion sense so as to make only a single piece of malevolent jewlery...no back up plan. I'm old, half blind and a quarter deaf but I'm not yet senile. The One Necklace, it is a powerful amulet of evil and you must destory it. That's a job for a proper unattached bachelor hobbit like yourself.
"And where am I supposed to get this 'One Necklace' to destroy?"
"You remember that pretty gold pendant your mother loved to wear so much...the one she would let no one touch without getting that wierd look in her eyes?"
"The one we buried her with?"
"The very one."
