Some quotes to think about

[dizzyjam]

My mom likes to forward me things on occasion. She sent these quotes recently and I thought I'd post them here. Some interesting points are made me thinks. And I'm not even at the age where I should appreciate a few of these yet.



When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

A penny saved is a government oversight.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

He who hesitates is probably right.

Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are 'XL'.

If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs'

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Long ago when men cursed and beat the
ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.

Hope everyone likes these.

[Spokane Flyboy]

Actually, the sole purpose of my first name was to tell when I was really in trouble. I went by Shane Morgan, instead of John, growing up because my father is John, and his father is John, ad nauseum.

[gabriel]

These are pretty funny. I like the golf/witchcraft one the best. On a somewhat similar topic, a friend of mine had gone to China for an extended stay and came back with an architecture company's portfolio that was littered with their attempts at English. Needles to say, I was hurting by the end of the portfolio. Some things I remember:

"Walls should be able to read our minds...." A bit fitting for China.
"'To be or not to be, that is the question.' Over a millennium ago, Shakespeare wrote this famous torture. But today, what we need to ask is, "'To be or not to be of thinking.'"

Gosh, I wish I could remember the rest. Some of it was just unrepairable syntax that sent me into laughing fits.

[Christian Soldier]

Thus when asked what language I wanted to learn, I did not say Chinease... there is enough pain involved with writing ^^. I go by my middle name, also, for much the same reasons. Although, my father is the only other Geary in the family, all the other males get my middle name but a different first. My Dad wanted to be different...or the same. Whatever

[gabriel]

Of course, then I write, "Needles to say." I forbid myself from speaking English.

[torainfor]

Here' my addition:

The good thing about getting old (for a woman) is your chin hairs go grey and don't show up as much.

My ma rarely had to use my middle name. I go by Beth and she could get enough mileage out of "E-LIZ-a-beth!"

[mongoose]

Is this thread about names, funny quotes, or language use? Or did I miss something?

[metalikhan]

Mongoose: I don't think you missed anything, but the answer to your first question seems to be yes.

So, here goes a couple more.

"TV sucks. Now that it's digital, it still sucks but the picture's better." (my husband's observation)

From a translated machine manual, in the middle of a paragraph about using the dead & live centers: "Not to place in the sunshine spot."

[Christian Soldier]

Here's a sign posted in Killeen for an investment company. See if you can catch the irony:

We will "EARN"[/i][/b] your trust!

[Teskas]

"You'll never plow a field by turning it over in your mind."

[koolteskip]

The algebra and golf ones are my favorite!

A couple more:

<<En el reino de los ciegos, el tuerto es rey.>>
"In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is king."

If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing.