Patience, Love, and Wisdom

[Spokane Flyboy]

These are three things I tend to lack in awkward situations. I'm rash, blunt, and blind as a rule. With this whole Prop 8 thing being upheld, a lot of my friends and I have been discussing it on political, philosophical, and theological levels through Facebook. Well, with all this Christian discussion on where I stand on the idea of gay marriage, my cousin added me to Facebook. Now, this cousin got married in California last fall shortly before Prop 8 passed to her girlfriend. So I have a bunch of conservative Christian views on this floating around for her to see and I feel a little awkward about it, though she has just as much floating around from the liberal Humbolt County athiest view. So, I'm picturing a confrontation might crop in the future which I've currently avoided by the fact I rarely see her outside of family functions.

So just kind of prayer for the three things in the title to counter act the three tendencies I mentioned. I tend to go more for the knowledge side of the battle than the love side, even though I hear "Knowledge puffs up while love builds up" echoing in my mind." It doesn't help that she's 20 years my senior, even though we're the same tier generationally.

[morganlbusse]

Will definitely pray. One thing I've found is that debating rarely ever gets someone to change their mind (most of the time it makes people run to their own fortress of thought and defend it). But there are times you have to speak up, not necessarily for the sake of the one wanting to debate your view, but for those watching on the sidelines. And in those cases, I try to bring a presentation that is both humble and respective, one without "trigger" words and then leave it at that.

An example of this is a friend of mine left Christianity a couple years ago over the validity of the Resurrection. In his mind, there were too many discrepancies amongst the gospels (personally, I believe he was really hurt by the church and this just moved him further away).

Anyway, this past Easter he started a debate on Facebook about that very thing. Usually I don't answer such things since like I said before, debating just seems to anger people and close their minds to thinking. But I felt moved to answer his questions, probably because I still felt keenly his withdraw from Christianity years ago. And as an analytical thinker, I've always hated when Christians tell non-Christians to just "take it by faith." I believe God also gives us a base by which we then take His Word by faith.

So I answered his questions about the Resurrection and left it at that (I knew I probably wouldn't change his mind, but I cared for him and wanted to help him if I could... I also wrote my answers for those viewing our discussion who might be wavering on the same issue and for them to see there is an answer for the "discrepancies" between the gospels). Unfortunately, other Christians continued to press him and press him. In the end (after a couple weeks of this) you could tell he had become even more anti-christian by his posts and some of his christian friends dropped him from their lists.

I think this is quite sad. In order to build a bridge with someone, you need to show you care about them in both your answers and hopefully a history of caring for them before answering any of their questions. I'm still friends with him and hope as the years go by, God will continue to draw this hurting young man back to him.

[torainfor]

The InternetMonk occasionally talks about this subject. Here are a couple of his more recent posts:

www.internetmonk.com/archive/my-highest-recommendation-love-is-an-orientation-by-andrew-marin

www.internetmonk.com/archive/imonk-101-the-sin-we-love-to-hate

www.internetmonk.com/archive/does-the-gospel-change-the-way-you-look-at-the-people-the-culture-war-tells-you-to-fear-and-dislike

I think this quote from the second link is a pretty good synopsis of where he stands on the subject:

So let me say it for you it you have trouble: If you are someone in my life who is engaged in the sin of homosexual behavior, I love you. I respect you. I embrace you as a human being like me, a sinner like me, and person to whom God offers forgiveness and grace in the body and blood of his Son, Jesus. The Gospel is good news for both of us. My sexual sins are grevious to a holy God, and I need to confess and repent of them. I hope and pray you will join me, in believing and in repenting. If the way is hard, and it always is, I will stand with you. If you stumble, I will forgive you and help you pursue purity in and for Christ. If you insist that Christ did not die for your homosex[uality], but has given it to you as a gift, I will disagree with you, but I will still love and respect you. I will still want you to be my friend, to be in my home, to worship with me and to be part of my life. I am blind to many of my sins as well, and I can’t look at you with hatred or condemnation when Christ Jesus died in order for me to be forgiven.

[Christian Soldier]

That's a great way of putting it! Gentle but firm. A simple statement, "I love you", mixed with an admonition that leaves not our wayward brother astray.

[metalikhan]

What a caring way to express God's love! This could apply to so many other entangling sins. Thanks for sharing these links, torainfor.