The Dragon and the Sacrifice

[The Blue Collared Philosopher]

(the other day i wanted to write a short story, so i started writting...and i slowly changed into a poem of sorts. I've never really written any poetry before, so i decided to post this and see what some of you guys thought. Any suggestions are very welcome. I'm very eager to learn.)



The Dragon and the Sacrifice


In life there are lots of decisions
Just make sure we decide with good reasons
Sometimes when the world is dark we forget to look at the light
When staring into darkness all we feel is fright
Darkness is like looking in a cave, the lair of a dragon
Waiting to make your grave with those who have gone
Silver and gold are on the floor
As you enter the door the dragon knows he hits a score
You sit in the gold reveling in self-glory
All the while clueless to your own folly
Life seems so perfect and completely wonderful
Until your satisfaction turns very rueful
As you decide to leave, the dragon wants some meals
He grabs you, beats you, and puts you chains as your head reels
Looking in your eyes he laughs and he scoffs
He knows for a fact you cannot get out of these cuffs
Despair and horror begin to ravage your mind
The glory, silver, and gold have all been left behind
The dragon strips you and pokes fun at your shame
Broken and crying you regret that you came
After a while you gather your courage
Deciding to get free before facing such rage
You struggle and pull doing whatever you can
But it’s all hopeless you are a dead man
The dragon watches you try to break free
Soon after he eats your pinkie
Screaming and writhing you can’t do much
Only watch the dragon eat you for lunch
While eating your legs he says you won’t need those
Blood drips on the floor, so sick it smells gross
Almost unconscious your body hangs like a doll
But with one last effort you scream one call
The dragon dashes towards you and tears out your eyes
He says they are useless and here’s a surprise
Whispering in your ear he tells you a lie
You heart is so worthless you might as well die
So full of pain, sorrow, and hate
Nodding your head is all you can take
He laughs and touches your chest
Then with one claw pierces your breast
Screaming at the top of your lungs all hope has faded
Maybe this is the best since you cannot be aided
Still alive in this world of hell
You hope that death would finally ring your bell
Yet fate would not have it that you should die
Life is not over and it makes you cry
You hear the dragon shriek and a loud pounding
Someone else voice has given you longing
Perhaps help is here and freedom is at hand
At first this seems good but then a little bland
A soothing voice reaches your ears
It says that you have been here for many long years
I have come at last to set the captive free
So let me help you and please don’t fight me
This being touches your eyes and you scream wildly
It hurts and it burns making you act freaky
After a moment his hand moves away
You blink rapidly and beginning to sway
You can see once more and it’s hard to believe
It’s a miracle, what a gift to receive
Staring at his face a grin meets your gaze
Feeling half dead the smile breaks your cold daze
Life fills your body and the pains suddenly returns
The man that saves you holds your heart with scrapes and burns
He blows on it and put it in your chest
It hurts at first but finally finds rest
With a sigh of relief you thought it was done
But your savior surprises you because he had gone
Frustration fills your mind
Was this all a dream, let me rewind
Ah, but no, there he was, holding onto your poor lower limbs
He had not left, instead wanted to fix your unfair trims
Walking to you he bent down and sang a mournful song
It was beautiful and horrible as it helped heal your legs along
At last he was done, but were still chained to your former position
You stare into his eyes and beg him to give you liberation
Tears roll down his once joyful face
In his eyes you read it all, he would take your place
He screams and light floods your vision
Your knees hit the ground with a hard collision
Trembling with fear you dare to look up
The sight that met you caused you to throw up
Your savior was in chains now
A crown of thorns upon his brow
Sweat of blood rolls down his cheek
His body appears to feeble and weak
With sorrowful eyes and a crackling voice he says
Be free my child and live in joyful days
Regret washes over you in a new round of pain
How could you have been oh so lame?
The dragon reappears to take what was allocated
The savior accepts what will be completed
The dragon must have his meal
But this time it is for real
You sit and watch, paralyzed out of pure horror
The dragon rips your savior into quarters
Slowly devouring each bite to savor the victory
Your hero dies before you only to give you one discovery
While still weeping a hand is laid on your shoulder
So full of sorrow you don’t even look up or bother
This time the hands grab you and spin you around
Your savior is standing before you wearing a true crown
Scars cover his body and his sweet face
He pulls your hand and leads you in a race
The dragon is far behind and the sky is blue once more
The earth is beautiful and you feel like you could soar
The savior stops at a white gate
He pulls you inside and says this is your fate
To live in the Kingdom of the Almighty
No more pain, sorrow, or toil shall greet your body
Love and joy is all you will know
Yet you will remember what you did sow
There is a cost to every bad choice
But for every good move you shall rejoice
The love of Jesus Christ the Lord will never let you down
Let him come save you, it will cost you only your own crown
Come live in love with one another
Or face the judgment of the avenger
Love and peace to my brother and sister
Remember what God has is always much better

[waldenwriter]

Wow that sounds beautiful, gredruin. Good job!

[Christian Soldier]

Gory, but to a good point. Good work, gredruin!

[The Blue Collared Philosopher]

thanks. Cs, was it too gory? My parents say i always dramatize the antagonist a lot.

[nursechappel]

I know this poem has been here for five months, but I just found it.

I like the part where you describe how the process of getting well starts with learning to feel pain. I thought that was full of insight.

One practical suggestion has to do with How Eyes Work. It would be helpful if you could separate the poem into verses or paragraphs. The blank spaces on the page give the eyes a place to rest, and keep them from getting lost in the narrative.