jinn
Full Member
Posts: 119
|
Post by jinn on Jul 6, 2009 12:32:40 GMT -5
I'm not so good at this part. But, I'm desperate. I was going along at a good clip, revising the WIP, almost done, dealing with the last five scenes. I'm disciplined, motivated, climbing over writer's blocks and chewing through walls, and suddenly it's like I can't...finish. I know endings are hard, harder than middles, but this is ridiculous. Work schedules me for insane hours, things going haywire with family... Out of the blue, mayhem. Emotional turmoil for no apparent reason. I buckle down, batten down the hatches, plan ahead and focus harder, and it gets worse. Interruptions I can deal with. Multitasking-- no problem. But this is something more, it's something (sort of) new. I'm being resisted. Either that or I need to stop writing altogether. That's the message I'm getting (strongly over the weekend), but I don't think that's from God. I'm largely autonomous, but enough is enough. Standing on my own isn't cutting it this time. I need someone to help-- silent prayer, a thought, a word-- anything to push back. I crave wisdom, and eyes to see the truth. Courage to dance in the dark.
God, this story and my work are yours. My pen belongs to you, and if you want it forever silent so be it. We've been here before and you have not changed. My time is surrendered, I give it up. Your name is glorious, great is your unfailing love. Show me if I should change, if I should take drastic action or if you want me to endure. I am yours. I am yours.
|
|
|
Post by kirstymca on Jul 6, 2009 16:10:09 GMT -5
Will pray
|
|
|
Post by Christian Soldier on Jul 8, 2009 12:52:31 GMT -5
Prayers away. I know, as you do, that Christ is stronger than any resistance.
|
|
|
Post by metalikhan on Jul 9, 2009 23:32:16 GMT -5
Certainly praying that ungodly oppression be removed from your life.
I would, however, like to suggest that sometimes God puts the brakes on some part of a busy life, not because He wants you to give up a gift/talent that He blessed you with but because He wants you to concentrate attention on something (maybe a lesson, maybe a service) He's placed elsewhere in your life. Maybe He simply wants you to spend some un-busy time with Him.
I've never had a problem with writer's block. When some writing project hits a wall for me, I usually discover I've either let my fictional worlds become more important than my Savior — truly out of balance — or that I'm taking the story in a direction contrary to what He wants. I write to please and glorify Him, but I can't deny that I sometimes get carried away with the gift/talent or the story rather than with the One who gave it. When that happens, I know it's time for me to step back, stand in prayer, in praise, or (more often) in silence in my Lord's presence and yield so He takes His proper place in my heart and in the story. He resolves whatever writing issue I'm having when I return to the keyboard, but only after He rebalances my life and His rightful place in it.
For some reason, I always think of it in terms of a trainer giving a loving but firm leash correction to an over-exuberant pup, to sit still and listen to its master's voice.
Don't know if any of that is helpful. (What do our metaphors tell about us!?)
|
|
|
Post by waldenwriter on Jul 10, 2009 0:59:23 GMT -5
I never thought of writer's block in that way, metalikhan. Interesting stuff.
Writer's block usually just stresses me out, even scares me a little nowadays. I read in a book on Christian authors about a certain author who suddenly couldn't write for a while, until God gave her her writing talent back. I can't remember the circumstances, but I think in reflection the writer in question said that God was trying to teach her a lesson of some sort. I got a little freaked out over that, and I worry that it will happen to me. I don't know what I'd do if God took my writing talent away, even for a short time. I'd be miserable, I think, because I'd get story ideas in my head and be unable to do anything with them.
I hope things work out for you Jinn.
|
|
|
Post by Jeff Gerke on Jul 10, 2009 7:55:28 GMT -5
Jinn,
Another possibility is that it's not demonic resistance you're encountering but perhaps your own fears. Writers are a passel of fears, after all.
Some of you have read my paper, "The Horrific But True Phases of Writing a Novel." You get it free when you sign up for the WhereTheMapEnds newsletter. It's all about these fears.
One of the worst always hits just before you finish the rough draft. Why? Because then you'll have to show it to people! Before, you could just say, "No, sorry, it's not finished yet." And as far as anyone knows, it could still be the Great American Novel. A heartbreaking work of staggering genius.
But as soon as you finish, you can't say it's not done yet, and you have to face those people who (shame on them!) are interested in reading what you've wrought.
Just know that this is normal. Know also that it's normal at this phase to be convinced that what you've written is the worst thing ever penned by man or beast. All normal! You've lost objectivity and you're gripped by very normal fears.
Just plunge ahead. Take the same courage it took to start and continue this project, and use it to finish that last sprint.
You don't have to tell anyone it's done!
Jeff
|
|
|
Post by dizzyjam on Jul 10, 2009 22:56:53 GMT -5
Jeff, I haven't written you in a while for it, but I still haven't gotten that particular article sent to me yet. Can you make sure I get it?
|
|
jinn
Full Member
Posts: 119
|
Post by jinn on Jul 13, 2009 12:56:04 GMT -5
Thanks you guys, for your prayers. Jeff and Metalikhan, thank you for your advice and encouragement. I'm sure God has a lesson for me here, something about humility that he's revealing piecemeal lately, which is fine. Sometimes things can get so intense I have to be reminded still to rest in the middle of it, and listen. I'm learning that fear comes in layers, and sometimes what's blocking me is a fear so subtle I have to be reminded of it.
Coming to the end of this is indeed one of the hardest parts, and it's not over yet. Even harder out here, off the edge of the map, but I press on. Fear seems amorphous and likes to keep pace to the end, but courage and hope are stronger; the struggle, worth it. Thank you again.
|
|