Post by Cully the Swamp Walker on Sept 11, 2009 9:04:36 GMT -5
The Anomaly Speculative Times
By Swamp Walker
Bearcats’ existence confirmed
A creature long thought to exist only in legend has stepped from the realm of myth to reality. Yesterday, marked the first confirmed sighting of a “bearcat”, occurring just east of the densely wooded area near Crowley’s Ridge.
“I ain’t never seen nothing like it,” said Virgil Timmons, local resident and raccoon farmer. “It was big as a barn door, black as a chaw of tobacco and smelled like my wife’s socks.” Timmons’ description would be followed shortly afterward by dozens of other sightings as the creatures streamed from the woods and into the neighboring town.
Presently, troops from the local National Guard unit have contained the bearcats to the high school football field in Dexter, MO. Despite the military presence, the beasts seem undeterred. Local shaman have reportedly communicated with the bearcat leader, who has insisted on a contest of strength and wit. Apparently, the bearcats like to play football, and if vanquished, have agreed to return to their woodland realm.
Authorities have invited the elite gridiron unit from nearby Sikeston to eliminate this threat. The contest will begin at 1900 hours this evening. The public is encouraged to stay indoors and stay tuned to their local news source for further developments.
*Again all in fun, but please join me in prayer today for not only my child, but all of the athletes, coaches and officials involved in sports this weekend*
By Swamp Walker
Bearcats’ existence confirmed
A creature long thought to exist only in legend has stepped from the realm of myth to reality. Yesterday, marked the first confirmed sighting of a “bearcat”, occurring just east of the densely wooded area near Crowley’s Ridge.
“I ain’t never seen nothing like it,” said Virgil Timmons, local resident and raccoon farmer. “It was big as a barn door, black as a chaw of tobacco and smelled like my wife’s socks.” Timmons’ description would be followed shortly afterward by dozens of other sightings as the creatures streamed from the woods and into the neighboring town.
Presently, troops from the local National Guard unit have contained the bearcats to the high school football field in Dexter, MO. Despite the military presence, the beasts seem undeterred. Local shaman have reportedly communicated with the bearcat leader, who has insisted on a contest of strength and wit. Apparently, the bearcats like to play football, and if vanquished, have agreed to return to their woodland realm.
Authorities have invited the elite gridiron unit from nearby Sikeston to eliminate this threat. The contest will begin at 1900 hours this evening. The public is encouraged to stay indoors and stay tuned to their local news source for further developments.
*Again all in fun, but please join me in prayer today for not only my child, but all of the athletes, coaches and officials involved in sports this weekend*
I hope you and yours are enjoying football season, and of course, I'll send up a prayer or two for everyone's safety. I hope they all have a great game.