Post by metalikhan on Oct 24, 2009 23:46:46 GMT -5
Overcast was the day and bold were our hearts as we ventured forth to climb the outer walls of the citadel to its lofty peaks. Our quest was to learn what fell reason there might be for rain to enter and despoil the interior of the great hall. Dismayed we were to find foul rot and storm wrought damage on both shingle and sheet and we vowed an oath to repair.
"Insurance?" I said; but he shook his head. "Not so, for the deductible is so great we could only dine on naught but ramen noodles for a year. No help will come." Then stout of heart, he made boast, "But we are able and can do this thing which we have vowed."
And so we gathered wood and tools and asphalt shingles and sallied forth to bravely battle effects of weather and time.
"Wait!" I cried upon gaining the roof. "Come no further! It cannot hold the two of us!" For he was broad of shoulder and mighty of thew; and surely the fragile timbers would collapse and cast us both into the great hall, most likely on the television. "I am small and light of weight. I can wield hammer and caulking gun to affix the sheet and shingles into place. Thou art strong of arm and back and better able than I to carry heavy burdens of lumber and shingles up the ladders we leaned against the citadel."
And he was mightily pleased at this plan for though he was brave and bold, he was ever wary of heights. "But hold," he cautioned. "Forget not thy leather gauntlets — for does thee not recall the radical dermabrasion of thy hands during our last repair of the citadel's peaks?"
"Aye," I said grimly. "I remember it well and I thank thee for the remembrance of my gauntlets. And I will use them as I climb but I must remove them to hold the nails and fire the caulking gun."
As dusk descended on the day and the first drops of rain fell from the sky, I came down from the peaks of the citadel and he stored away the ladders and tools. Gazing up at the deed we had done, we embraced in victory, our oath fulfilled.
Then he said, "Behold, I have prepared a gift of Goop for thy hands," for they were black and tarred with caulk. And so I went into the citadel's kitchen to scrub the malodorous substance from my hands.
But, perchance, some of it seemed intractable and stubborn to remove and I began to despair for I had yet to prepare the evening banquet.
He came to my side and examined my hands. Then peering gravely into my eyes, he said, "Let not thy heart be troubled. It's only freckles."
"Insurance?" I said; but he shook his head. "Not so, for the deductible is so great we could only dine on naught but ramen noodles for a year. No help will come." Then stout of heart, he made boast, "But we are able and can do this thing which we have vowed."
And so we gathered wood and tools and asphalt shingles and sallied forth to bravely battle effects of weather and time.
"Wait!" I cried upon gaining the roof. "Come no further! It cannot hold the two of us!" For he was broad of shoulder and mighty of thew; and surely the fragile timbers would collapse and cast us both into the great hall, most likely on the television. "I am small and light of weight. I can wield hammer and caulking gun to affix the sheet and shingles into place. Thou art strong of arm and back and better able than I to carry heavy burdens of lumber and shingles up the ladders we leaned against the citadel."
And he was mightily pleased at this plan for though he was brave and bold, he was ever wary of heights. "But hold," he cautioned. "Forget not thy leather gauntlets — for does thee not recall the radical dermabrasion of thy hands during our last repair of the citadel's peaks?"
"Aye," I said grimly. "I remember it well and I thank thee for the remembrance of my gauntlets. And I will use them as I climb but I must remove them to hold the nails and fire the caulking gun."
As dusk descended on the day and the first drops of rain fell from the sky, I came down from the peaks of the citadel and he stored away the ladders and tools. Gazing up at the deed we had done, we embraced in victory, our oath fulfilled.
Then he said, "Behold, I have prepared a gift of Goop for thy hands," for they were black and tarred with caulk. And so I went into the citadel's kitchen to scrub the malodorous substance from my hands.
But, perchance, some of it seemed intractable and stubborn to remove and I began to despair for I had yet to prepare the evening banquet.
He came to my side and examined my hands. Then peering gravely into my eyes, he said, "Let not thy heart be troubled. It's only freckles."
