Discuss Story Bible 1.0 Here

[mongoose]

Are we still waiting a while to get started? I think we've got all we need as far as plot is concerned. So I created a thread in which people could start writing the story itself. Of course, if we're not ready, or Jeff disagrees with this move, he could delete that thread. Otherwise, it's there. I MAY write an opening scene if no one else has, after we've been given permission, and before I have enough time. But that won't be for a few more days yet. Also, I'd prefer that someone else write in the initial descriptions of the landing of the portable city on Vanglor's world (that's how I'd begin, flashing back to or actually cutting to the SF world as necessary to build the characters or plot, but not otherwise), along with the description of the Kalorbi and Qali. These aren't really my things, and I worry that if I were to describe them initially, I'd scew some things about them. I can, however, build upon other people's works well enough.

I'd also like to introduce this Kihn character as a supporting player, a commander of a company or smaller level unit under Qali. I don't suspect he'd have a MAJOR role (since he wasn't included in the synopsis or outlines) but the hero will need a side kick, someone to command his armies and individual missions while he stays safely in the rear of the action, behind friendly lines, and/or when he's away. That, and what happens to the rest of the army when Qali defects? (of course, I had Kihn defecting too, but probably going a different rout at a different time, than Qali.)

Alternativelly, I could introduce Qali and kind of take him. Although I'm more interested in small scale, low intensity conflict than I am in strategy and full scale, multi-unit campaigns (such as we're talking about here) I have some knowledge of these things and can probably write them effectively. I understand we're leaving all characters, scenes, and plot elements open for all writers to affect, but the reality of it is that someone's going to adopt each of these as their own, and have more influence on how they turn out. Everyone else, out of respect, ought to stick with the descriptions and definitions established by those who went before. So I propose that whomever came up with Qali be the first person to describe him and his actions. In the future, when I take and describe Qali and his actions in subsequent scenes, I'll be sure to remain true to what has already been written of him by his creator.

[Jeff Gerke]

Mongoose (and all),

Please read the "Let's Write Act I" thread in the Guidelines subforum, and also the "Guidelines for Posting Scenes" thread in the Act I subforum.

As you'll see there, I'm running this differently from the model you may be familiar with. Instead of having just one person claim certain scenes or characters, I want everyone to feel free to write whatever they want, even if someone else has covered the same territory or written the same characters.

In this model, individual "creators" don't own characters or whatever. We all own it all.

Yes, by all means, we have permission to begin writing scenes for Act I. Let's do it!

Jeff

[mongoose]

Just by way of clarification, I'm not asking that I, or anyone else, "own" a character, scene, or whatever. I'm just thinking, how would it be if Dulci described Qali as tall, thin, and hyperactive, and in the next post I described him as sitting around contemplatively as he got fat, and looking up into the eyes of the average sized member of the shorter gender? I'm just saying we need to honor what has been written ahead of us, whatever we're writing.

Thus, I don't own Qali (don't want to, either) but I'll feel free to write scenes focusing on him. Still, however, I'll have to refer back to the scenes written earlier, to see how he is described, before I go writing something that changes him significantly.

I hope that makes sense and doesn't step on anyone's toes. If it's a problem, then it's a significant one that needs to be dealt with in one way or another. But I think if we just go ahead and do this, it'll work.

I'm waiting for someone to kick it off and introduce Qali, since, again, I'm not interested (much) in developing him as a character (incidentally, I am a character, not plot based writer. I guess we'll see how that works in this setting.)

[Jeff Gerke]

Okay, mongoose. What you're describing sounds perfect!

Jeff

[pixydust]

I was just wanting to throw another stone in the pond, now that I'm all caught up (sort of). Aoni can be older. I think to make the book more accessible it's important that there is a sort of romance. May sound silly, but if you look at most lasting stories this is an important ingredient. A sort of mirror, if you will, to Christ and his bride.

In most fantasy that I've read the heroin is usually between 17 and 20 ~ mostly due to cultural religations for marrying age. What age is Quali? I feel they can be up to ten years apart at the highest. No more than that. So maybe the easy solution is just to close the gap a bit on either end. She could be a sort of spinster at 22 or something--add a bit more shame to the character.

Just a thought. If you're set at Qali being more of a father figure than a hero-type, that's fine. I was just mulling over introing Aoni and wanted to toss that out there.

Plus, I'm a bit of a sucker for romance...

[pixydust]

Oh, and do we have a sort of format for the fantasy world around here someplace that I'm missing? I'm kind of tired--it's past midnight right now.

[Jeff Gerke]

Sounds good, pixy.

And yeah, what fantasy is complete without romance?

I don't think anyone did much description of the fantasy world. We had a few folks doing characters living on that world, so whatever world-building they did while describing those characters may be all that's been done so far.

So you're free to make it whatever you want! (I always pictured vast tracts of forest, though; kind of northern European, at least in some parts of the world.)

Jeff

[The Blue Collared Philosopher]

And to add to what Jeff said, i thought that the world was mostly water and trees. But that is just how i imagined it. It would be cool if the Kalorbi could even live under water, which doesn't mean they do, but could. And perhaps they can stay under water for a long time.
Just an idea.

[pixydust]

So you're free to make it whatever you want!

Dangerous words, my friend. ;D

I'll see what I can think of. I insist on lots of trees too. What's a fantasy without forests?

I think it would be cool if the forests tied in some how with this whole "Relic" thing. Still not exactly clear on what that thing is--good? bad? I missed that whole discussion. I know Qali wants to destroy it cause it's connected to his lost family in some way.

Sorry, I just haven't been a good girl and read through it all again.

If this fits in:

Maybe the "regular" fantasy folk live in the plains, seeing those of the forest as below them--like "magic" is a dirty thing for the cast offs. Plus there's the Forest folk who live in the wood and the king or whoever of this particular region is afraid of them.

There can be many cultures in this world, but I suggest we stick to regions, as it pertains to local of where the sci-fi gang lands and whatnot, and then take it from there.

Humanoids are the main race of the world, I'd say. There is a system to the many Beings on the World, a kind of pyramid, and the humanoids are at the top. We can call them:

[glow=red,2,300] En-yra[/glow] (meaning: self-made god)

Then in order of importance, below En-yra:

[glow=red,2,300]Leyf[/glow] (meaning wise): an all female race that works as a sort of glue, moving through the people as peacemakers, gurus, mind soothers, and healers. Kind of like Scientology, maybe--I'm just throwing this out there, I have no idea if this even makes sense. They have no magic, but carry the “religion” for the people—one that says it’s all in the head, so to speak. I have to think more about this.

[glow=red,2,300]Rogyr[/glow] (basically meaning "smells like dirt"): a sort of dwarf people who reside in tunnels, keeping the economy of the world going as overseers. The traders, ship merchants and all that sort of thing fit in this section.

[glow=red,2,300]Rayf[/glow] (meaning fierce): these are the builders and heavers. They are large-boned beings, averaging eight feet tall. Used for battle in the past, but now in this long time of peace they've become the heavy lifters.

[glow=red,2,300]Hoi[/glow] (meaning small): the all around everything. They do all the "jobs", behind the scenes, kind of like the house elves in HP. They come in sizes ranging from the size of an eight-year-old to mouse-like. Some even have wings. These are a sort of hybrid from an old race called: [glow=red,2,300]Hoi-la[/glow] (meaing small wing). Both types have mingled cultures in their own system and a sort of regime of their own. The smaller the more beautiful.

[glow=red,2,300]En-Shyf[/glow] (meaning, self made low): These are the Forest Folk, feared and despized. Beings that carry the magic and live separate from the rest of the world. They are sort of like the elves of Tolkein, but crossed with the Picts in that they are more organic. They paint themselves and mark each other with names and prophecies. They're like a living history of themselves. And they live a LONG time. Not sure how long, we can fiddle with that.

There is NO mingling of the races allowed. PERIOD. On penalty of death.

****(I'm starting to think Aoni is a half-breed, half En-yra, half En-shyf. This is what makes her eyes duel colored. I'll go back and elaborate and fiddle in her thread later about this.)

~~~

Any and all can be thrown and meshed. It's not really detailed yet, but it'll kind of be a place to start...

[The Blue Collared Philosopher]

Pixydust, great ideas! I really like the idea of Aoni being a half bread, that makes her sound like an outcast.

I think the Leyf should live to be hundreds of years old since they are an all female race. Unless you meant that the Leyf were a bunch of women from different races who join together and call themselves the Leyf. But then we would be violating the NO mingling rule.

Actually, now that i think of it, it would be cool if Aoni was like a half-bread, but also magical, perhaps she could be half En-Shyf and another race, which would explain why she was despized so much.

And by the way, i like the races that you made up!

[Christian Soldier]

Sweet! I've got some notes to write and I'll be ready to write. I may have a question also, but let me look around a little first.

Also! Nice races, Pixydust! I'm guessing that the En-yra are the ruling class, but what sets them apart from the others races?(IE Inbreeding, managerial skills, good teethe)

This ought to be fun, methinks

[Jeff Gerke]

So does this mean that Enya (En-Ya) is some kind of self-made...something? And that she's really from a fantasy world with lots of trees?

I KNEW it!

(Thanks for your good work on the fantasy world, pixy.)

Jeff

[Christian Soldier]

Okay, almost up-to-date, I think. First though, I should explain what I am bringing to this project: my superior intellect(Just kidding). No actually, I tend to see the stupid little details others miss. My brain is ... er... wired a bit dfferently than the usual hunams, so these things blast out at me. Except my own writing of course. I'm totally blind there.

I'm mainly curious about the Kalorbi not blinking thing. Do they have eye lids? Wouldn't they NEED eye lids? If not, what happens it a Kalorbi is in a sandy area, what protects his/her/its eyes? I'm thinking that there would have to be some kind of membrane protecting the eye that does not require blinking. Hmmm, so I guess the Kalorbi sleep with their eyes wide open, eh?


Also. The gravity on their homeworld. What is it? I'm thinking that the gravity must have been about .8g or less for the Kalorbi to fly unless their wings are massive(8-15ft in length), or their bones are hollow. Then their wings could probably be 5-12ft dependinig on size and weight. If their gravity is about the same as ours, then they would have to be much shorter, and slimmer, than the average Human.

These are the points that I've noticed. Another real quick note: My keyboard's "i" button doesn't work every time...so if there's an "i", or ten, missing...'tis not my fault, other letters yes. "i"'s no.

Oh, right, one more thing. Would another sci-fi race be too much? I can apply them elsewhere should the need arise, but I like them.

Those are my thoughts so far. Obviously they shouuld be taken with the usual disclaimer: they're my thoughts and therefore only have as much importance as you give them.
--CS

[The Blue Collared Philosopher]

I have a question(obviously,) where is the whole story taking place? On the fantasy world right? And is the fantasy world the Kalorbi's home planet or is this just a planet for the story and the Kalorbi live somewhere else?

[Jeff Gerke]

The latter, gredruin.

The story takes place in space above the fantasy planet and then, primarily, on the planet itself.

That planet is not the Kalorbi homeworld. That's somewhere else.

Now, you can set your scenes anywhere you want, so long as they tie into the main story.

Have you read the Story Bible? It gives the plot outline. That should answer most of your questions. It's a lot to read, though, I know.

Party on, dude.

Jeff